Daomu Biji: Restart
Book 1: Chapter 204

Poker-Face stopped Fatty from continuing and looked at me. I ignored Fatty's expression and continued, "I don’t want to say anything bad; I just want to say a few words. I'll ask each of you a question and you all have to answer. Then, we’ll set off again and you all can also ask me questions."

"Ask, my ass. What do you know that I don’t?" Fatty patted his thighs anxiously, but my mood was very calm.

Black Glasses was off to the side looking for his sunglasses. When he finally found them, he said, "My apprentice is right. Don’t worry about it. Things won't be easy after we go down there, so listening to his thoughts might actually be valuable."

I actually didn’t have any ideas at this time. When people were clear-headed, all problems were problems. But when people were seriously ill, the only problem they cared about was where the pain was. Any other problems were too far gone to take care of.

I didn’t know why—maybe it was really like the legends said and you would have a hunch before you died—but I was suddenly very afraid. I was afraid that I would really die if I went down in my current physical state.

It was a kind of long-forgotten fear.

I looked at the spring. It could be said that my previous experiences made up for my lack of physical strength in the past. I felt that the empty spring looked very dark and strange all of a sudden, but that was probably just because my body was failing me.

It seems that my luck is really running out. My instincts are telling me to say my last words.

Fatty thought about it for a moment, sat down, and then heaved a big sigh, "We’ve gone through so much over the years. It’s not like we’ve always done things in a normal fashion have we? I haven't seen you leave anything, so I thought you were ready."

"At that time, we were barefoot. But now that we’ve been around for so long, we’ve got a bit of inheritance. I’m not talking about money; I’m talking about friendship. Don’t you have anything to say to me? If I really die down there, are you just going to let me go without saying anything?" I questioned him.

Fatty lay down. The hot spring’s water was all over the ground, but we were already wet anyways. "Unlike you, I don’t want to know most things,” he said to me. “But after thinking about it, you're right. Everyone listen to me. That includes you, Little Brother. I know it's difficult for you. If I end up dead after we go down there, you only have to do one thing for me: tell the proprietress of the hair salon next to Wushanju that my death wasn’t painful. Tell her to stop thinking about me when I’m gone."

I laughed and said to myself, does she even know you? Why are you so certain that she likes you back? I had seen that proprietress before and knew that she would never like someone like Fatty.

Fatty became angry, "What are you laughing at? I know what you’re thinking! Yes, I know she doesn't like me, but that doesn’t mean she'll never like me. You’ve misunderstood feelings for a long time. In fact, feelings are the same as making money. It’s like how people who lose money in business will go bankrupt. People’s feelings will go bankrupt, too. Those who have felt more will be unable to share their feelings in the future because they’ve already given so much away in the past. Why, you ask? It’s not that they’re mature and cautious, they’ve just lost too much emotionally and gone bankrupt. People from our generation don’t have rich relationships. We’re completely different from the French and Italians who have accumulated that kind of wealth over the centuries. Our foundation just isn’t that strong. So, by the time someone reaches their forties, their feelings have gone bankrupt. Do you understand how many bad things happened to the proprietress over the past ten years? She’s long been exhausted, and no one’s there to help fill in the emotional pit. But I can. After I fill the pit in, she can start loving again.” Fatty became agitated, "If she can like me by the time that happens, then doesn't it mean we like each other? It's a rare thing in this day and age."

I didn't expect Fatty to get so stirred up. But just as I was about to agree with him, he immediately interrupted me and continued, "Let me finish. Say you meet someone in your life. You like her and you know what she wants. If you have what she wants, are you willing to give it to her? If you're not willing and you want to keep it for yourself, then doesn't that mean you like yourself? You have to understand what it means to like someone. It’s similar to a ghost. Since a ghost is completely silent, you can’t see it when it comes or goes. Even if it wanders around for a while, it just something that doesn’t make any sense. All you fucking know is that you’re being haunted. You can't control your feelings at will, either. It's like asking whether the ghost will leave you alone. If it doesn't go, you’ll have to light the three pillars of incense and treat the ghost properly. If it does go, then you won’t be able to find a trace of it even if you burn your house down. If you still don’t understand, let me tell you a story. When a man went to hell, Death greeted him and said, ‘Congratulations on being the ten billionth deceased. You won a special prize that can prevent someone from dying. Right now, you have two choices: you can choose to let the person you love the most die; or, you can choose to let yourself die. Which one do you choose?’

“The man said without hesitation: ‘I hope the person I love the most will die for me.’ As a result, the man died when he finished speaking.

“As he fell into hell and shouted about the injustice of it all, Death said to him: ‘There’s no doubt that you’re the person you love the most.’”

Fatty was on a roll, "So, when you meet someone you like in your life, you’re willing to give her whatever she wants as long as it’s within your power. If you’re not willing, then you’ll have to admit that you love yourself more. It’s just a fact of life, no need to be ashamed. But don’t think that something cute like this is the only type of human nature out there. There’s another kind that’s a lot like me. Your fucking luck is bankrupt, Mr. Naïve. Your Wu family owes too much. Ever since I met you, I’ve fucking treated you like a brother, so I'll help you fill this pit. Don’t you fucking dare talk nonsense anymore. You two must think the same as me, so let's hurry up and go. Come on!"

Fatty lifted me up and helped me move forward as Black Glasses started applauding behind us, "Your statement doesn't have a main point at all, but you've managed to make your arguments sound reasonable. Bravo, bravo."

I grabbed Fatty and said, "I haven't gotten to say anything yet. I have something to tell you. It’s super touching.” But before I had finished speaking, Poker-Face suddenly came up from behind me and squeezed the back of my neck, causing me to faint.