Crashing into an Old Flame
Chapter 308: First crush

Chapter 308: First crush

’Mom was crazily obsessive about our chastity. Daisy did not give a damn about our parents, which I feel glad about because it definitely led to my darling Angel. I, on the other hand, stayed at the mansion with them and had minimal interaction with male species so here I am, having dirty thoughts about Warner.

Yet, I can’t blame everything on Mom when I had the chance to date in university, in medical school but when you have a friend like Warner, your standards don’t just rise. They skyrocket. I kissed him today and I shamelessly told him that I accidentally took him for someone else. I did it to not make it awkward between us but guess what, diary?

My poor sheep is intimidated by me now, he ignored my touch earlier and he even looked at me like I am a big bad wolf. The worst of it? When he was glaring at me with that accusing look in those pretty as-hell eyes, I was wondering whether I should bite his lips.

I am so done for. I am ruined. Maxim Warner ruined my innocence. Or maybe I am thinking about ruining his.

When we met for the first time, he had acted like I didn’t hold a sliver of importance to him and I believed him. I thought times have changed. He changed and I have changed too. I was even a little intimidated by his distant attitude but at the end of the day.... Nothing has changed, diary. Nothing at all. You get me, right?

Maxim... is Maxim. I noticed it at his workplace that he still makes it hard for girls to not blush at the sight of him.

The catch? I think I am topping the list of those girls now. He makes it hard for me to not scream mentally when he spares one of those rare smiles in my direction, he makes it hard for my toes to not curl like shrimps on a frying pan when we touch accidentally, and worst of all, I can’t even be angry at him.

Warner is the worst. The best. Good lords, I am so... so damned.’

By the time Maxim had finished reading the first random entry that he had opened, heat lingered on his face and the tips of his ears gradually turned red.

His slightly shaking fingers flipped the pages till he reached the very first one, in hopes that something would distract him,. Something would keep his mind off the fact that he consumed her head the very same way she consumed his. All the fucking time.

When he opened the first page of her diary, he was met with the sight of a childish handwriting, cute even and it told him that she was pretty young when she started journaling.

’Things were not good at home and I made my parents upset again. I failed their expectations and did not make them proud. My grades had dropped and someone else had taken the first position. I had tried my best but maybe he is more intelligent than me.

I will try my best to surpass him the next time so my mom would not have a reason to hit me again...’

The words had Maxim’s body freezing immediately, his thumb pressed on the edge of the page as a look of disbelief crossed his eyes.

’I will give her every reason to be proud of me. I will please my parents. If I try harder, they will be proud of me, right, Mr. diary?

On my way to school, these were all the things that I could think about but then the car stopped and I spotted him.

The most beautiful boy I have ever seen in my life, squatting on the opposite street and cradling something in his arms. And I did not immediately walk past the school gates like I usually did. But instead, I walked back into the car to take a closer look at him. He is holding a tiny stray cat in his arms as he fed something to it and I suddenly understood why the prince in the Disney movies always keeps looking longer at the princess. It’s because of the same reason I can’t look away from him. He is beautiful and the... very first boy I am having a crush on.

And even as I am getting late for the classes, I am still here inside the car, telling you about him, Mr. Diary even though he is long gone. When will I get to see him again? Will I... ever see him again?’

By the time Maxim reached the last line, something inside him had broken and healed at the same time.

His eyes glazed over as he flipped the pages, going back to one of the most recent entries that Diana had written. He blinked the moistness in his eyes and started reading without a pause, a hint of desperation in his heart.

’Dear Diary,

If I have to be honest, I am not really afraid of catching a cold. But I have been afraid of catching feelings for my best friend after sleeping with him... or maybe before. When he was telling me about the things he went through during those years, he glossed over it, making it sound like it was no big deal but my heart ached for him.

I wish it was me who went through all those things in his place. I wanted to hold him so tight and assure him that in the future, I will always be there for him. I wanted to promise that even if he wanted to leave, I would never let him go. But those would have sounded like empty words so I didn’t say them. I decided to let him see for himself.

The more he opens up to me, the harder it is for me to ignore this nagging feeling inside my chest that tells me that I will get sucked like a star into this black hole called Maxim Warner.

And you know what’s funny? I won’t resist it in the least bit if that does happen. For a person like me, living in denial is the most convenient thing to do but how long can I do that when I know that I can’t resist him at all? If I am falling, then I will eventually let myself fall.

I just hope he... stays to catch me.’

Maxim flipped the page yet no longer could he see the words written on the stretch of whiteness, his blurred vision did not allow him to.

’Won’t you admit that your statement all those years ago was wrong to some extent?’

’Why else would you fuck someone you just pitied? Like you said, we have had our fair share of fun. It seems I was not just a charity case after all.’

The ruthless words he had said to her reverberated in his mind, making it hard for him to breath.

Maxim closed the diary and pressed it against his forehead, his eyes closing briefly before he alighted the car and moved to the driver’s seat without wasting another second.