Contract Marriage starring Love and Revenge
Chapter 57. You’ll be tormenting me

Chapter 57: 57. You’ll be tormenting me

The door opens and as expected, I’m faced with a shirtless Duke.

"Pagne?" He calls me with his eyes squinted a little. Obviously he had fallen asleep already. My knock must have woken him up. I was going to just walk in because I didn’t want to wake him, but I’d rather wake him than to walk in on him doing something like last night.

You’ve made it this far Champagne, don’t back out now. "C_can I sleep in your room tonight?" His eyes instantly grow wider, and I can tell sleep too has vanished from those eyes. He is fully awake now and he’s staring at me in a completely dumbfounded way.

"What?"

"Can I sleep next to you tonight?" I ask again. "J_Just sleep." I think I should at least make that clear.

"Why?" He asks. I wasn’t expecting that question. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting any questions. In my head I thought he would just move aside and let me walk in.

On the contrary, he’s standing here, using his big body to block the doorway and I’m still standing outside his room.

"I_I’m cold." What sort of dumb lie is that?

He sighs as he folds his hand over his chest and rests his shoulder on the doorframe. He really doesn’t seem to have intentions of letting me in.

His eyes rakes my body from head to toe before speaking again, "Pagne, of course you’d be cold when you go to sleep in that." Says the man who is completely shirtless.

That being said, he’s right. I was so spooked by that nasty dream that I ran out with my pillow without taking note of my appearance.

Just a brown silk pajamas set cami top and short. The cami top has a very low neck and the shorts stop about two inches after my bum...

My hold on the pillow tightens as I’m suddenly conscious of my appearance.

"T_The truth is, I had a nightmare and I can’t sleep." I confess without looking at him. Why is he making it so difficult? He just has to let me in.

"And you want to use me as a sleeping pill." He calmly says. When he puts it like that, I can’t help but feel like he’s right.

"I_" I finally lift my eyes and stare at him, "I’m just too scared it’ll all disappear if I don’t hold on tight. I’m scared you’d disappear."

"Pagne," He calls me again so calmly. His hand reaches to my face and cups my right cheek, "I’m not going anywhere. Not me, or the twins, nor anything you have now. Nothing will take them away from you."

His words are reassuring. They really are but, "Can I sleep here now?"

"Urgh!" He groans with his eyes shut tightly. He mumbles some words in frustration, I can’t make sense of anything he just said.

"Pagne, having you in my room to just sleep is like eternal torment, my dearest." He brings his other hand to my face, and he seems to be sincerely trying to make me understand the reason why he can’t let me in.

"You’ll be tormenting me by doing that, and you know it."

I do.

I really do.

And I understand why he’s being like this, but can’t I be selfish for once? He did tell me to learn to be a little more greedy.

"Can’t you just be tormented this once?" I ask and I can tell my question leaves him speechless yet again.

"I won’t do anything. I promise. I won’t say a word. I’ll be still and quiet. You won’t even notice me. Just—" I think I’m going to cry if he keeps making me beg for this, "Just let me stay with you tonight."

"Oh, Dear God!" He sighs with his eyes closed. Then he flips them open again and whispers, "You’re so wicked." He places a kiss on my head before standing up straight once again.

His hand slips over my wrist, "Come on in."

...

Laying at one end of his bed, my entire body facing the window. The lights are off and the night sky is almost moonless, so only little... very little streams of light are creeping in from the window.

It’s a dark, still and silent night.

In the silence, I can hear his breathing from the other end of the bed. Slow, calm... rhythmic.

"Duke," I call his name, but I’m not getting a response. His breathing does sound as though he has fallen asleep. "Are you asleep?"

Still no response. Did he really fall asleep? "Duke—"

"Pagne," He sighs, and I think I sense a bit off frustration in his voice. I do understand it if he’s frustrated with me. "You promised you won’t say a word." He reminds me.

"I’m sorry." I say while hugging the bed covers tightly. "I know you must hate me right now. You must hate how fickle I can be at times."

I pause to listen if he would say something, but nothing comes, so I continue. "The truth is, most times, when you’re near, I_ I do want to give myself to you. All of me. But then other times I just can’t stop myself from remembering what Alicia and Rowan told me."

Again, I wait for him to say something, but he doesn’t speak, "I know you say you don’t see me that way, and yet I can’t help thinking that way at times... That I am a woman who is easy to tame when I’m desperate to be held in the arms of someone... I try to control my desires even when you ignite them. I do this even though I can’t help but be scared that you’ll eventually get tired of waiting for me. I’m trying to act brave whenever I’m in front of you but the truth is I’m scared she’ll come and take you away from me."

Ah, why do I keep talking? That dream must have really dealt with my mind.

"D_Duke?" I call his name without turning. Did he fall asleep?

"I’m still here Pagne." He says in a tone that totally calms me. "I’m listening." He says.

"I had my first boyfriend when I was seventeen. We were in the same grade but attended different schools. We both attended the same church and had known each other for quite some time. He asked me out and I was as shocked as I was delighted. It was the first time someone asked me out, you see."

I still remember how elated I was. I couldn’t stop smiling and blushing foolishly. That day sleep didn’t come easily. And when it did I dreamt of him.

"As you’d guess, I said yes easily. We began dating. He’d walk me home after service on Sundays. We’d stay up late talking over the phone. It was my first time dating someone and I was naive and dare I say innocent."

"I still remember when Alicia first saw us together. We were holding hands, walking back from church. I remember how I had quickly removed my hand from his own. Because deep down, I knew what she was like. I knew she would want him if she knew he was mine. But maybe it was already too late, that day I saw the look in her eyes and it was that very look she always had whenever she saw something I cherished and wanted for herself."

"I was scared. I was scared because I saw the way he looked at her. One glance at her and he seemed to be bewitched. But I believed him when he told me I was the only one he wanted to be with. Overtime, he started to ask for more than innocent kisses. He kept bringing up the matter of sex. Stylishly at first, then boldly later on."

"A_As a Christian girl, I plainly told him that what he wanted was not possible. I tried to reason with him and I thought he’d understand seeing he was from a Christian home himself. And to be honest, I thought he did."

I pause and listen to the soothing rhythm of his breathing, coupled with the ticking clock. I love this peace.

"But then one Saturday afternoon," I continue, "when my aunt and uncle were away on vacation. I’d just returned from evangelism, when I came and found the two of them... Alicia and the guy who was supposed to be my boyfriend, both half-naked and touching each other."

I scoff as the picture suddenly flashes before my eyes as though it was yesterday, "Do you know what was more funny? They were doing it in my bedroom."

"And you know what he said to me?" I ask, "He said, ’Christian girls don’t have boyfriends. I can’t be with you if you keep being so uptight."

"The other relationships ended the same. Every time I think I’ve finally met someone I can trust and be with, they always end up in Alicia’s grip. They always called me uptight... Stuckup bitch was what the one before Rowan called me. Hah!" I laugh even though I don’t find anything funny.

I guess I’m all out of tears seeing that not even a drop has formed in my eyes as I’m telling him these things. Usually just the thought of it makes me cry. But my eyes are dry right now. Thank God.