Coldsnap: The Billionaire Alpha's Fated Pregnant Princess (GL)
Chapter 101 - Empty Lomdi, Overflowing Voss

Chapter 101: Chapter 101 - Empty Lomdi, Overflowing Voss

Concrete out in the dark of Vossden in autumn was cold, through the sock covered feet as I go overboard with the mental representations at the interior of my soul. Just to focus on something else for a few moments than the more complex feelings.

Meanwhile in the reality of my motel room, I take a deep, shuddering breath and scrub at my face with the back of my hand. The sides of it were still damp, but the emotional wave had crested and begun to recede from the edges like a rebounding ripple.

"Hollow, what a familiar feeling after a cry. Now pull yourself together."

With effort and lots of self accusation, I got up and walked into the bathroom to splash cold water on my face. Reddened eyes and some puffing but otherwise I looked... normal enough.

Not like someone who’d just had their composure thoroughly shattered by a damned text message. Or who in the deepest parts of their soul started to mix up so many things about who they are, after so many years.

"You’re not some lovesick human teenager flush with hormones. Not a werewolf in your heart, complete slave to the pull of the bond. You aren’t even a small fox who wants positive attention, Citra. You’re none of those things, all at once. Just someone trying to survive."

Someone that needs to think about the quickest ways to find themself at a point of self-sufficiency... that the child in this body deserved from its deceased mother. Before it’s too late to do anything about any of that.

I pulled out the hair ties and brushed the black strands out before putting a more plain set of elastics back on even tighter. Stripping out of the dark clothes I wore all day and tossing them into the small pile of dirtied items that I’ll need to deal with soon.

Physical motions mixed with tedium to give me some room to rebuild my walls. Walking out into the living area I barely feel I belong in, I perched nude on the end of a towel covered seat chair... and ate a dry and sort of unsatisfying meal of tasteless protein bars in silence.

"I should have stuck to the same brand, I guess. I didn’t think they could get worse."

Drinking some water and flicking crumbs off of my bare legs, I finally felt sufficiently armored against my own weakness. Enough to allow myself to check the phone now - and figure out once and for all how screwed I am with this woman on my heels.

Crossing my legs and leaning back, I hold the device like it doesn’t matter at all - no more than any letter I’ve ever gotten. Raising my chin with only a slight curious tilt of my head to the side, my thumb taps unhurriedly.

K: [Would you consider meeting again sometime soon? I know a few places that serve excellent tea, if you’re interested in sharing lunch.]

I stared at the message unblinking, reading it twice to ensure I hadn’t misinterpreted her intentions. She was inviting me out again to spend time together... leaving the choice entirely to me.

My thumb hovered over the screen as Vrika stirred in my mindscape, its tail wagging with an enthusiasm I refused to share. The wolf huffed as I didn’t react other than finally blinking, then started to project an impression of stubborn insistence that I answer which made me roll my eyes.

"What am I supposed to say? Thanks for the invitation, but I’m about to spend a significant amount of your money before I disappear from the city for days, so I can’t?"

The spirit tilted its head, as if saying ’why not?’ with its entire body. Impressions of a new day... probably trying to tell me that tomorrow afternoon I’m not technically too busy, yet.

"Why? Because it’s... complicated."

I know now, after reading the message, that I can still hold myself together without seeing her. But anything else is a different matter that I shouldn’t make time to experiment with so soon.

My gaze drifted to the fox mug sitting on the nightstand, cleaned before I went out. Its cheerful design somehow made the small room feel... still not like a home, exactly, but somewhere that acknowledged my existence without expecting anything of it.

Before I could overthink any downsides, I picked up the mug and positioned it on the bed. Using the white motel pillow as a backdrop to improve the lighting and make sure there are no reflections.

"Really not looking to give her the impression that I wanted her to see me disrobed..."

I snapped a series of photos and saved the best ones. It would be better to respond with something that gives less of an impression that I’m in trouble and also isn’t a direct refusal... even if it makes me feel like scum keeping her ’on the hook’.

C: [I’ll be busy with personal matters for a few days. But look what I found today.]

I hit send on the simple message with photo attachment before I could change my mind, then immediately regretted the plan. Why did sharing something so trivial with her feel like I’m trying to draw her in even more than showing my body would?

The response came far faster than I expected. Like she was just sitting on the other end holding the phone... surely not ever since she sent the lunch request?

"No, it has to be a coincidence. She was just looking at her phone and reading something else when your message appeared. Stop being silly."

K: [A fox! It suits you, Ms. Lomdi.]

As I wondered what exactly she meant by that comment... another message appeared. A photo of her hand, fingers arranged in an unfamiliar gesture best described as thumb pinched to her ring and middle fingers, with index and pinky fingers extended straight upward.

I frowned at the screen, puzzled by this strange hand sign that reminded me - only slightly - of one of the snake shifter religious human hand exercises. Was it some Rimecoat communication or a werewolf greeting I wasn’t familiar with?

"She is so terrible at lighting..."

Another vibration gave me the answer as I became a photography critic. Either I took too long to respond again and she felt the need to explain... or she’s just that thorough.

K: [It’s called the "silent fox". The two extended fingers represent the ears lifting and paying attention. The fingers form the face, with it pinched tight in silence. A hand gesture some kindergarten teachers might use to calm students.]

I looked back at the photo with this new information, tilting my head and tilting the device to better see the fox shape in the gesture. Once she pointed it out, it was almost obvious - the hand did indeed form a stylized fox face like... the ’shadow puppets’ of the moth shifters.

C: [I’ve never seen that before. The Duskpaw don’t have anything like it in their customs.]

K: [I thought you might appreciate it, given your new purchase. But it’s not surprising you’ve never seen it. Since my name is Voss, I’ve always found them fascinating creatures.]

Again, she answered so quickly. I can almost imagine the soft, confident smile sitting there as she explains herself.

> Stupidly attractive woman. <

K: [Even before.. I looked up what Lomdi meant.]

Even before meeting me, she meant. Before discovering her fated mate also had a connection to the creature... and while she still has no idea I am connected to foxes in ways she couldn’t possibly understand.

But now I know why she thought it suited me... after all, while Edgar told me what the two names meant in languages of this world, the internet might handle that just as well. And of course she would have done a check on my name.

"Other people know I’m supposed to be Helene, but you haven’t even called me that once. Silly wolf."