Chased By My Billionaire Ex-husband
Chapter 175: Was My Baby Really Dead?

Chapter 175: Was My Baby Really Dead?

Claire’s POV

Evander’s entire body stiffened, and I felt his breath hitch, but he said nothing. He didn’t interrupt, didn’t try to console me with empty words. He just held me, letting me pour out everything I had kept bottled up inside.

"If only..." I choked out, my voice trembling. "If only I hadn’t let my emotions take over. If only I had been stronger, smarter, more rational... Our child would still be alive. They would be here with us. But instead..."

I broke down completely, sobbing into his chest as my guilt and sorrow poured out in waves.

For a moment, there was only silence, broken by the sound of my muffled cries. Then Evander pulled back slightly, just enough to cup my face in his hands. His eyes were red and glistening with tears; they bore into mine with an intensity that took my breath away.

"No," he said firmly, his voice low but steady. "Don’t blame yourself, Claire. Please, don’t do this to yourself."

"But it was my fault!" I cried, my voice rising in anguish. "If I had just stayed calm, if I had just stayed home that day—"

"No," he interrupted, his tone leaving no room for argument. "You were hurting, Claire. You were in so much pain, and I wasn’t there for you when I should have been. I failed you. I failed us."

His voice cracked on the last word. Evander was pouring his emotions for the first time in front of me.

"We both made mistakes," he continued, his thumbs gently wiping away my tears. "But you don’t have to carry this burden alone anymore. I am here now, Claire. And I swear to you, I won’t let anything or anyone hurt you again."

"I know..." I whispered, my voice trembling. I paused, gathering my thoughts before continuing. "After the accident... I woke up in the hospital, and they told me it was a premature birth. My baby... my baby was gone."

Evander’s brows furrowed deeply, his confusion evident. "Premature?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

"Yes," I said softly. "I was only seven and a half months pregnant when the accident happened."

I clenched my fists, forcing myself to stay composed. This time, I was determined to tell him everything. No more secrets. No more hiding. Hiding had only caused us more pain— had caused him more pain, and I couldn’t let that happen again.

Evander’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. He hesitated, then asked cautiously, "So... did you see the baby?"

His words struck like a thunderbolt, and I felt tears sting my eyes. I nodded slowly. "I... I did," I admitted, my voice breaking. "They placed him in an incubator. The baby was so tiny, Evander, so fragile. I wanted to hold him, to hug him, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t allowed to. I didn’t even know..."

I choked on the words, but I forced myself to continue. "I didn’t even know the gender. I fainted the moment I saw him like that, and when I woke up again... he was gone. They told me since he didn’t make it, they..."

A sob tore from my throat, and I brought my hands to my face, trying to stifle the sound. "I feel so guilty, Evander," I whispered through my tears. "So broken. I couldn’t even hold him once. I couldn’t give him the love and warmth he deserved, even for a moment."

Evander moved closer, his arms encircling me in a firm, protective embrace. I felt his hand stroke my hair gently as he whispered, "You don’t have to carry this pain alone anymore, Claire.."

His voice cracked slightly, and I realized that he, too, was on the verge of tears again.

"We lost something precious," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "But I won’t let us lose each other too. We have both been through so much, but we are here now. Together. And I swear, Claire, I will do everything I can to protect you, to protect us."

His words pierced through the darkness of my anguish like a light of hope. I leaned into his warmth, letting his strength bolster me as I released the grief I had carried alone for so long.

"Did you not contact me then?" Evander asked, his voice quiet but firm.

"I did," I said softly, my eyes dropping to my lap. "I mean, the hospital did... but no one received the call."

I hesitated, my heart pounding as I recalled the painful memory. "When I called you later, Susan picked up. She said you were in the shower and—"

Evander inhaled deeply, cutting me off with the audible strain in his breath. His hold on me tightened as if he was trying to control himself. He didn’t need me to finish the sentence; he already understood what had happened.

~ ~ ~ ~

Evander’s POV

I clenched my jaw, barely keeping my emotions in check. Rage and guilt churned inside me as an unbearable storm threatened to consume me. Knowing what Claire had endured in the past— and realizing I had been part of the reason for her suffering— was almost too much to bear.

But this wasn’t the time to crumble under the self guilt. Right now, I needed clarity. I needed to know exactly what had happened to Claire in that hospital.

Was the baby really gone?

Claire had been unconscious at the time. She never got to see the baby. And knowing how devious Gloria could be, there was no way I could ignore the possibility that she had kept the child alive, using them as her ultimate pawn to control me.

"Evander, what are you thinking?" Claire’s voice broke through my thoughts.

Her hand gently touched my cheek, taking me out of my thoughts. Her face was still tear-streaked, but there was a soft determination in her eyes now. "I know you are upset," she said, her voice steady despite her lips were shivering. "But please don’t blame yourself. I don’t want you to carry that burden. None of this was your fault."

"How can I not?" I murmured as my voice was thick with emotion. "But... I will try to heed your words, Claire. I will try."

As much as I wanted to drown in regret, I knew she didn’t need my guilt right now. She needed my strength, my presence.

We were still wrapped in the moment, engulfed in the emotional turmoil, when a soft knock on the door interrupted us.

"Daddy... Daddy, are you in?"

The small, familiar voice came from the other side of the door, which belonged to Eliam.

Claire’s eyes widened, and for a moment, a bittersweet smile crossed her face. I sat there, my heart clenching as I heard him call me "Daddy." The sound struck me deeply, as if our lost child was still alive and present in this world.

"Come in, Eliam," I called out, my voice softer now.

As the door creaked open, Eliam’s curious, bright eyes peeked through. He stepped into the room, holding a small book in his hand, his expression both hesitant and warm.

"Are you okay, Daddy?" he asked, tilting his head slightly.

Claire and I exchanged a look. In that moment, something shifted in me. I didn’t just want answers or revenge anymore. I wanted to protect the family I still had and make things right— for all of us.

"Mommy, Daddy, your eyes are red and puffy. Did you cry?" Eliam’s sweet voice broke through the tension in the room, making both Claire and me freeze in place.

We exchanged a quick, embarrassed look, caught off guard by his innocent observation.

"No, sweetheart, we weren’t crying," I said quickly, stepping out of bed to pick him up in my arms. "We just went out to play, and something got into our eyes."

Claire broke out into laughter at my poorly crafted excuse, while Eliam tilted his head, clearly unconvinced but too polite to push further.

"How are you here so early in the morning?" I asked, shifting the focus. "Weren’t you with Uncle Caspian?"

"Yes, I was there," Eliam replied brightly, his small face lighting up with excitement, "and I met Little Lilly there. She was so pretty."

"Who is Lilly?" I asked, my mind racing with wild thoughts. Don’t tell me that bastard Caspian was dating someone behind our backs. How dare he!

"Lilly is a little girl, same as my age!" Eliam said with an enthusiastic nod, his cheeks flushing pink. "She is as pretty as Mommy!"

"Really?" Claire chimed in, raising an eyebrow at me while trying not to laugh at my reaction. "Can’t you hear what he said? Little Lilly."

I scratched the back of my head sheepishly, realizing I had jumped to conclusions and got caught. "Ah, right... Little Lilly."

It seemed this was Eliam’s first time meeting someone his age, and his excitement was almost contagious. But beneath the surface, a pang of guilt struck me.

If only our child had survived...

If only they were here with us, Eliam wouldn’t have been so lonely.

Claire must have sensed my shift in mood because she reached over and gently touched my arm. "Hey," she said softly, her voice pulling me back from my thoughts.

Eliam, who was oblivious to the situation, continued to chat happily. "She said she likes my hair, Daddy! She even gave me a flower she picked from the garden!"

"Well, it sounds like you made a good impression," I said, forcing a smile and ruffling his hair. "But I hope you remembered to say thank you."

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