Bringing some shocking pranks to the Cultivation World
Chapter 42 - 42 35 Then I Won't Be Polite Anymore

42: Chapter 35: Then I Won’t Be Polite Anymore 42: Chapter 35: Then I Won’t Be Polite Anymore First, Zhou Li felt that he was not an exhibitionist.

However, there was no choice; during his twenty years of life in Da Ming, Zhou Li had found that the most significant wear and tear for a Spirit Qi Master did not come from weapons, nor lime and poison powder, because those items might not always be used.

But clothes, those truly were single-use consumables, and their rate of consumption was extraordinarily high, even Western Sect’s Chui Xue would have to strip down to his trousers to duel with a shirtless Ye Gucheng.

Of course, Zhou Li wouldn’t tell the village chief these things.

At the moment, he simply portrayed a greedy image, straightforward and naive, insisting on not removing his silver clothes, which, indeed, is what he as a scoundrel should be doing right now.

Upon seeing Zhou Li rather expose his marble sculpture-like perfect physique than take off his silver clothes, the village chief’s face suddenly beamed like a freshly laundered chrysanthemum, brilliant and comforting.

And the villagers gathered around Zhou Li also spoke with satisfactorily among themselves, seemingly moved by the good fortune of such a scoundrel joining their village.

Thump.

Zhou Li’s ears suddenly twitched, and he covertly glanced through the crowd.

When he saw that familiar and beautiful widow smile stiffly at him, he immediately returned a meaningful smile and patted his waist three times, then turned his head away.

“In that case, let’s go,” he announced.

Lao Deng paused for a moment with his cane, standing by the street outside the barn, his gaze drifting over the gleaming oil lamp behind Zhou Li, and spoke, “The next challenge, we must go to my house.”

Lao Deng, I urge you to think carefully.

Zhou Li didn’t say it, but his clenched fists were coiled and ready to strike.

If this Lao Deng wanted to perform any sort of “let me see if you’ve developed perfectly” show, he would simply set the village and the Mountain God Statues ablaze.

Fortunately, Lao Deng only heaved a heavy sigh, and there was more to come:

“The final challenge of Qiansan Pass is called Immortal Gold Drink.”

The old man stood with his hands behind his back, in front of Zhou Li, facing the end of the street, and continued slowly:

“This Immortal Gold is extremely valuable.

Normally, each household only gets one opportunity to partake in the Immortal Gold Drink yearly, so, you will need to go with me to my house to fetch the Immortal Gold.”

“Alright, alright, alright.”

Zhou Li mimicked the rubbing of his hands like a fly and carefully inquired, “Can this Immortal Gold be sold?”

Looking at Zhou Li’s endearing face, left side marked by streetlamps and right by scumbaggery, the old man chuckled and patted Zhou Li’s shoulder, saying with a laugh:

“Don’t be impatient.

A scoundrel like you…

Among Phoenixes and Dragons, is definitely the successor to my position as village chief.

Once you take over my job, would you still worry about the Immortal Gold?”

With that, the old man looked around, waved his hand impatiently and shouted loudly:

“Stop gawking, has everyone eaten?

Hurry up and start the fire for cooking, let’s send up some smoke from the chimneys, and don’t give Young Master Zhou the impression that this is a poor village, come on, be quick!”

After dispersing the crowd, Zhou Li reluctantly glanced at the beautiful widow who blinked at him.

Seeing this, the old man at his side asked with a smile:

“Young Master, this widow is not simple; she’s a well-known widow in our village who has outlived three husbands.

Just now…”

He looked at Zhou Li’s hand at his side, a faint glimmer flashing in his eyes, and asked with a smile, “What does patting your waist three times mean?”

Upon hearing this, Zhou Li was momentarily stunned, and then, after a moment, under the old man’s mocking gaze, he frowned, shook his head and sighed, “Ah, old man, you clearly lack spiritual perception.”

“If I pat my own waist three times, isn’t that a sign for her to knock on my door in the dead of night?”

The village chief was taken aback, then he suddenly burst into laughter, his initial wariness fading away considerably.

He laughed and shook his head, expressing, “The impetuousness of youth…

This old skeleton, I don’t understand, really don’t…”

After finishing those words, the village chief let Zhou Li go ahead to his house.

Moments later, as he gazed at Zhou Li’s unbending back, a flicker of doubt and solemnity crossed the village chief’s eyes.

Then he beckoned to a scrawny man, who approached swiftly.

After listening carefully to the chief’s whispered instructions, the scrawny man quickly left the place.

And the village chief, too, walked towards his home.

The village chief’s home was situated at the edge of the village, close to the mountain, on a relatively high terrain, and it was the only building with three stories.

When Zhou Li and the village chief entered the house, Zhou Li noticed that in the moderately sized hall, there stood rows and rows of Mountain God Statues, each with a different expression, all staring at him.

These wooden statues of Mountain Gods, some crying, some laughing, and even some with hearts of gold and silver lungs in their mouths, seemed as though they had come to life, all looking directly at him.

“I enjoy the art of carving in my spare time; these are all my amateur works,” the old man explained.

The elderly man looked at Zhou Li, the corners of his mouth slightly curling into a benign smile, “The grace of the Mountain God is as heavy as a mountain…

We must not forget His contributions.”

“Yes, indeed.”

Zhou Li blinked, and the statues that originally felt vivid and lifelike instantly lost their essence, reverting back to a collection of inanimate objects.

He leaned back slightly, then asked, “So, what shall we do next?”

“I will go get the Immortal Gold Drink first, you wait for me a moment.”

The village chief instructed Zhou Li, then slowly made his way upstairs.

Meanwhile, Zhou Li stood at the door, surveying the place briefly, his eyes flashing with a hint of peculiarity.

All the windows here faced the tall mountain.

Zhou Li raised his head to look, and through the glass directly opposite the door, the gentle and amiable Mountain God seemed to be smiling down at him.

But upon closer inspection, where was there any Mountain God?

It was nothing more than a pattern created by a random pile of rocks on the cliff face.

He blinked, and as the dark windows that faced the mountain regained their usual appearance with no hint of light shining through, Zhou Li secretly circulated the Spirit Qi within his body and detected no abnormalities.

Just then, the sound of footsteps on the wooden floor came from upstairs, and before long, the village chief, hunchbacked, holding the golden cup approached Zhou Li.

His face creased into folds, revealing a mouthful of golden teeth, he said:

“Young Master Zhou, please.”

“Just like this?”

Zhou Li was taken aback, having thought there would be more to this step.

He looked down, and the thick, golden liquid in the cup seemed to be moving, its refreshing fragrance delightful, and the hidden sweetness capable of evoking a person’s innate desires.

“Yes, just like this.”

Nodding, the village chief asked with a smile, “Do you have any doubts, young master?”

“This…”

Zhou Li glanced outside the window and, changing his line of thought, asked, “Is this gold…

drinkable?”

“Haha, the young master does not know.”

Laughing and shaking his head, the village chief whispered, “The gold in this cup is not ordinary gold, but the Immortal’s Spiritual Qi condensed by the Mountain God.

This is Immortal Gold.

Take one sip, and it will cleanse and energize your body as if you are ascending.

If you try it, even if someone offered you an Immortal Pill in exchange, you would probably not want to give it up.”

“Is it that delicious?”

In response to Zhou Li’s skepticism, the village chief stroked his beard, laughing assuredly, “It is that delicious!”

“Oh~~~”

Zhou Li’s face showed an expression of sudden realization.

Then he looked outside again.

As the last streak of the setting sun disappeared from the windowsill, he smiled at the waiting village chief.

“Then I’ll be unreserved.”

“Ah, why be reserved.”

The elderly man waved his hand, saying with a laugh, “It’s about to be…

”

He stepped back with his left foot and raised his right leg heavily.

At the same time, a fierce wind suddenly swept through the entire house.

Chaos ensued.

Looking at the man in front of him—who was clutching his groin as he slowly knelt to the ground, his facial expression contorted by pain, unable to even cry out, just making hoarse noises as if he were a siphoning toilet—the elderly man fell silent.

Zhou Li reached out, stuffed a cloth bundle directly under the man’s tongue, then said gently and kindly:

“Since you’ve put it that way…”

“Then I’ll really not be reserved anymore.”