Bog Standard Isekai
Book 2. Chapter 6

Brin was immediately consumed with one question: Could [Witches] see through the eyes and ears of their familiars? Because if so, Davi’s mom had heard him sing a song about how he wanted to run his fingers in her hair.

If she’d heard that, then things were about to get really awkward.

It also wasn’t a great idea to receive a [Witch’s] hospitality–it hadn’t even been a full day since Hogg had told him that–but as far as Mrs. Pimental was concerned, it was already far, far too late to worry about that. He’d eaten with the Pimental family at least once a week for several months now. If she wanted to hex him, she’d already had plenty of opportunities.

He also wanted to try [Inspect] on her, to see if anything new showed up now that he knew what she was.

And if he didn’t go? It would probably be fine. But what about next time he was invited, and the time after that? Eventually she would catch on that he was avoiding her, and that risked offending her.

It was probably dumb, but just going along and acting like everything was normal was probably the safer option.

“Brin?” asked Davi.

“Oh. Sure, I’ll come,” said Brin.

They wiped the sweat off with rags and a bucket of water from the river, and then walked back into town to the Pimental’s house.

When they reached the dining room, Davi’s two younger brothers were already sitting at the table, as well as his father Alvir.

The youngest Pimental, Yon, perked up when he saw Brin come in. “Brin! It’s Brin! Is it true you’re a bad guy?”

“The baddest,” said Brin, with a mysterious crook of an eyebrow.

“Yon! You can’t just ask somebody if they’re a bad guy,” scolded Davi’s father. His voice was firm, but his thickset chest was shivering with suppressed laughter.

“He used to be a bad guy,” said Davi. “He’s a boring normal commoner now.”

“Aw…” said Yon.

“It’s true,” said Brin with a theatrical sigh. “My days of glory are behind me.”

“What was it like?” he asked.

“Oh, it was the greatest!” said Brin. “It was like nothing could hurt me, and I was so strong I couldn’t believe it. I fought through those undead soldiers like they were nothing. Bam! Another one bites the–”

The door to the kitchen burst open, revealing Bruna, Davi’s mom. “What webs are you spinning in here?”

Brin moved his eyes to the table. “Sorry ma’am. Hogg did all the fighting. I just ran away and even then I almost died. Bad Classes are bad, never take one.”

“That’s what I thought,” said Bruna. “I’ll bring supper out in a moment.”

She went back into the kitchen, and Brin silently mouthed the words, “No they aren’t.” He gave a thumbs-up and smiled. “Evil Classes are so much fun!”

Davi’s brothers broke into a fit of giggles. Alvir frowned, but again his stomach shook with suppressed laughter.

Davi’s sisters came in, holding plates with both hands. They were both as tall as their mother, with none of the stockiness that Davi had clearly inherited from Alvir.

Bruna entered right behind them, and the women placed the plates on the table before taking a seat. Dinner was steak and mato, not the most original meal, but he wouldn’t complain. Bruna’s steaks were a masterwork, and as for the mato… well, he was getting used to it.

“Woops, forgot something,” said Bruna, and shot up from her seat to move towards the kitchen.

She ruffled Alvir’s hair as she passed, but then lingered there. Her hand moved back and forth through his hair, possessively. Almost sensuously. She gave Brin a significant glance, and then let her hand fall away.

She knew.

He fired off an [Inspect].

Bruna Pimental Level unknown. At least 27. Probably higher. Age: 39 Class: Witch. Evolved from Farmer. Your best friend’s mom. She thinks you have a crush on her. Mrs. Pimental has set her [Hide Status] Skill to show [Farmer] and Level 27.

Alert! [Inspect] leveled up! 7 -> 14

She went into the kitchen and returned a second later with salt and pepper shakers. “Can’t forget the pepper. Eat your steak, Brin.”

Brin met her eyes, cut his meat, and took a bite. “It’s delicious.”

She smiled, apparently satisfied.

So she knew that he’d been singing that song. Did she know that he knew she was a [Witch]? It wasn’t something he could just ask. He’d ask Hogg later, of course, but for now he hoped that she just thought of him as a silly thirteen-year-old boy who had a crush on his best friend’s mom.

The family jumped into their typical, rambunctious three-conversations-at-once routine where everyone talked over each other at constantly escalating volume.

“Why are you still so low-level?”

“Maia! You can’t just ask somebody why they’re low-level!” said Alvir.

Everyone else went silent, pausing their other conversations to hear his answer.

Brin shrugged. “I don’t mind. It’s actually on purpose. Sure, Hogg has all sorts of ideas on how to get lots of experience, but he thinks I should hold off on that for now. I can get levels later, but right now he thinks I need experience. Like, real experience. I’ll only be low-level once, so I should use this time to get a real feel for shaping glass with regular tools. It’ll be easier to form an image of how it should go later when I use magic to do everything.”

“Interesting,” Alvir nodded. “None of my Skills are like that. They don’t help me use tools; they’re all about making other things grow. All the work is still just work. That’s why Davi is such a help.”

“A little. I’d be more help if I was a [Farmer],” said Davi.

“But [Bard] is so exciting! Who knew something like a [Bard] could come from our humble little family,” said Bruna. “I know! Why don’t you play us something?”

Davi looked down. “I don’t feel like it.”

“I’ll play something!” Brin volunteered.

“Really?” asked Maia. “You can play?”

“Sure!” Brin fetched his lute from the front room where he’d left it when he came in.

From the first note, Davi covered his face. “Don’t–”

Brin ignored him and sung his heart out. “Faithful wheels, thou stalwart rollers…”

He made sure to ham it up to make it clear the lyrics were funny on purpose and he had the whole family in hysterics by the end of the second verse.

When he was finished, Davi of course had to show him up and play something good. He played a simple jig, without any emotion manipulation. His family clapped along, cheering like they’d never heard anything so grand, and asked for another and then another.

It was a joyful moment. Davi had completely blindsided his family with choosing a Class completely outside their experience and tradition, but instead of resenting him for it, they were so, so happy for him. They were so supportive it hurt.

Davi was still playing when Brin quietly made his excuses and left the house.

He had to lean against the front door for a bit to get his breathing under control. This was Davi’s fault. That song from earlier had gotten to him, making him think of his parents. And then, seeing the Pimentals all together, seeing how proud everyone was of Davi…

Would his parents be proud of him, if they could see what he was doing? They’d been proud of him in his old life, but that life was over. Those were Mark’s parents, and Mark had died on the ice on the highway. Brin’s parents were Hogg and Lumina.

He thought he was over this. He’d been doing good. He had been a part of the conversation this time, instead of his normal, timid, morose self.

He sighed and took off down the road. Davi’s happy family always left him feeling down. But he knew one person who always made him feel better, and he was the next person Brin needed to mark off his [Witch] checklist.

He went home real quick to grab his leather armor, and then took off towards Perris’ place. Marksi started squeaking at him furiously when he realized where he was going.

“You don’t have to come! I really need to get him to take a look at this, though,” said Brin.

Marksi huffed, and then slumped down on Brin’s shoulders in defeat.

As they passed the town square, he saw a small crowd gather, and walked up to see what it was about.

Zilly stood in the circle of the crowd, sword drawn and facing a [Farmer]. He held his quarterstaff towards her in a solid grip, but by the looks on their faces, this wasn’t anything serious.

“What’s going on?”

“Oh, only a friendly spar. Everyone wants to see how much our new [Warrior] has grown,” answered a woman he didn’t know. [Inspect] told him that this was Leoca, a level 23 [Scribe]. Useful, that. He was terrible with names. Just for that, [Inspect] was honestly his favorite thing ever.

He used it on Zilly next.

Zilyana (Zilly) Mentirose Human Age 14 Level 9 Warrior

Description: Zilly is a close friend.

Skills:

Battle Cry - A powerful shout that increases her own and allies morale, strength and speed.

The [Warrior] Class has a choice of two base Skills, and it’s unknown which Zilly took. Blade Mastery (probably) - Zilly quickly gains proficiency with any bladed weapon. This Skill also enhances damage with bladed weapons. The Skill effects depend on its level and Zilly’s Dexterity. Iron Body (unlikely) - This Skill fortifies the Warrior’s body, increasing their defense against physical damage. A Warrior must choose between this and Blade Mastery at level 1, and Zilly would’ve almost certainly chosen to build her Class on Blade Mastery.

A lot of information there, but [Warrior] was a pretty well-known Class so that was to be expected. It was also weird that [Inspect] could put words like “probably” in its descriptions. Did that mean it wasn’t reliable? He’d need to talk to Hogg about this again.

The [Farmer] that Zilly faced off against was named Kim, and he was level 29. The level gap should make this a complete no-contest, but the [Warrior] Class was famous for punching above its weight.

Kim came in, twirling his staff like a helicopter blade. He struck out lightning fast, over and over from every direction. Zilly stood in place grinning, one hand placed cockily on her waist while the other blurred to block every single blow.

She took a step forward, pushing Kim back, and then she was on the attack, laying into the [Farmer] mercilessly. The sound of her dull practice sword against his quarterstaff made a double-time drum beat as they swung back and forth.

She drew back her sword with a flourish, and caught Kim’s quarterstaff with her other hand. She pulled it out of his hands, then swung around and tripped him with it. He fell flat on his back. He made to get up, but she put her sword down to his neck, stopping just short.

Then she moved it and gave her his hand, pulling him to his feet. He laughed and slapped her on the back in congratulations. The small crowd clapped, some of them hooting.

“She’s going to die in a ditch,” said Hogg.

Brin jumped; he hadn’t even seen Hogg approach, and suddenly the man was standing right next to him.

“Hogg! You can’t just say that someone is going to die in a ditch,” said Brin.

“Course I can,” said Hogg. “I’ve seen Kim fight for real. He could’ve splattered her brains all over the ground on the first swing.”

“Not very sporting for a spar,” said Brin.

“He could’ve won without doing that,” said Hogg.

“He let her win? Why?”

“Why wouldn’t he? These are good men in this town. Nobody wants to see a grown man beat up a little girl with a stick, especially not after this morning. No man in this town wants to be the one hitting a little girl with a stick,” said Hogg.

“What’s so wrong about that? The Prefit’s training her, right? I’m sure he’s not letting her slack,” said Brin.

“What’s wrong with it is that she thinks she’s hot stuff. She isn’t. Like I said, these are good men in this town, but that’s not what the world is like. There’s some real scum out there, types who will target her just because she’s a girl.”

Zilly waved to the crowd, and then went into a sword form. It was a little sloppy to his eyes, but she threw in some high jump kicks and sword flourishes that the crowd really seemed to love.

Brin frowned. “What should we do?”

“Convince her to stay in Hammon’s Bog. There’s nothing she needs that time and levels won’t give her. Or convince her to get serious. There are female adventurers out there, and they’re all among the best. The average ones die in a ditch.” Hogg spit on the ground and then walked away.

Brin left as well, before Zilly caught him watching. He needed to think about this. A lot of what Hogg was saying sounded like what Perris had said about Marksi.

When Perris first met Marksi, he’d told Brin to torture his pet, to hurt him in order to make him stronger. Brin had totally rejected that idea; he’d helped Marksi in normal, supportive ways, and it had worked. Marksi was growing up well. But what could he do for Zilly?

Speaking of Perris, the [Leatherworker] was in his shop. Perris looked like the stereotypical villain from an old western, complete with a long, thin mustache that he couldn’t stop fiddling with when he talked. He looked like a villain, but on the inside… he might actually still be a villain. Either way, he was easily one of the coolest people in Hammon’s Bog.

“Oh, Brin, just who I wanted to see. It’s been too long since such an easy mark walked through those doors,” said Perris.

“Oh? Business is slow?”

“You know I cater mostly to adventurers, and we haven’t seen any new groups for more than a month, for reasons that are now obvious. I’ve already taken the last group for everything they have, and the people in this town are too cheap or too canny to shop here,” said Perris with a sneer. “Except for you, of course! Come for a sword? Well put that out of your mind. A spear is what you need.”

“I actually needed– wait, why a spear?”

“Swords are a stupid weapon for a [Glasser]. I don’t care how strong your glass is, it will always break at the worst possible moment. I sold you a sword with a glass core last time, and you actually bought it. Ha! And what happened? It shattered after two swings!”

“It was designed to shatter after two swings,” said Brin.

“Like I said.” Perris stroked his mustache. “Stupid. Speaking of stupid, why does your snake have legs?”

Marksi eyed Perris warily, as if watching for any sudden movements, but he didn’t hide. He firmly met Perris’ gaze.

“He’s not a snake. He’s a dragon,” said Brin. “[Inspect] says so.”

“Maybe someday. But for now he’s a weird snake. Can you even run with those legs, or do you still slither while paddling with them like a demented rowboat? Are you any faster now? I bet you’re slower.”

Marksi glared, but didn’t back down.

“Give him a break. He’s only had legs for like a week,” said Brin. He had to admit, though, that Marksi did tend to slither. Something to work on.

“Fine, back to spears. This way,” said Perris. He started walking to his weapons section, and Brin followed. “With a spear, you can attach whatever you want to a strong shaft. Glass can make for a good spearhead. It can be ludicrously sharp and takes to enchantment well. If it breaks, just swap it out with another and keep going.”

They swept past the display case with all the expensive magic swords. Brin knew all of them by heart, and he’d even bought a couple of them.

Perris walked right by those, to an unlocked shelf of walking staves. He picked one out. “Here we are.”

Bog Standard Spear Shaft. This length of wood has been shaped and strengthened by a master.

“A stick? You’re trying to sell me a stick?” asked Brin.

“A spear shaft,” said Perris. “This is the right choice for your circumstances. It’s light and durable and has a bit of spring. I know in all Gustaff’s movies the heroes slice through anything made of wood as if it were butter, but that’s not real life. Maybe you could get Toros to make you a nice metal rod, but think of it this way: There’s only one [Smith] of note in Hammon’s Bog, but there are hundreds of people who work with wood. The very best of those supply my shop with their greatest masterpieces. This spear shaft is better than what you need, to be honest. You know, I think I might keep this for myself.”

Brin’s value sense told him the spear shaft was worth about a gold and two silver, so he said, “Six silver. Or keep it if you really want to. I’d rather have a sword, anyway.”

Perris spluttered. “Swords are stupid! You…” Then he smiled and patted the side of his nose with a finger. “I see what you’re doing. One gold, three silver.”

Brin worked him down to ten silver and they shook on it, with Perris doing the stereotypical “I’ve been robbed” routine. It was less than what his value sense told him it was worth, but Perris had still gotten a good deal; it was hard to sell things for what they were worth in a town like Hammon’s Bog.

“Alright, let’s get to what I came in here for,” said Brin.

“Yes, I saw that sack full of leather rags you’ve been carrying around. Would you like me to make a rug or something?”

“I was hoping you could repair it,” said Brin.

Perris glared. A real glare, not his usual playacting. “That can’t be the beautiful, fantastic set of chimera leather I gave you. That was the finest set of armor I’ve ever made, so I know you didn’t–”

“It was amazing, Perris. It saved my life a dozen times. I didn’t even know armor could be this good. It stopped a full-on charge from a Facaldagart, didn’t even leave me a bruise. Can anything be done for it?”

Perris sighed. “It’ll take some time. I got a level making this. I should get another fixing it. But you’re paying me full price for my time.”

“Done,” said Brin. He [Inspected] Perris.

Perris Alois Human Level 41 Leatherworker Description: Perris is a friend who’s gone to bat for you more than once. He acts like a vaudeville nemesis, and you don’t know if he’s pretending or pretending to be pretending. He probably has some merchant Skills or maybe even a Class that helps him run his store, but his Leatherworking skills are real. You’ve seen him repair leather armor magically.

Looking at it now, he had a hard time believing Perris was a [Witch]. He was too talented a [Leatherworker] to be splitting his focus in that many directions. If he did keep leveling and got a new [Leatherworker] Skill, would that prove he wasn’t a [Witch], or could you still get Skills from a base Class even after you evolved to something else? Something to ask Hogg.

He’d ask him tonight. After that, it would be time to check some other names off his list. Starting with Chamylla the [Enchantress].