(BL)Alpha Made
Chapter 86: A man who spirals over little things

Chapter 86: A man who spirals over little things

When Andrew pulled into their driveway about 40 minutes later, Andrew’s grip on the wheel had turned his knuckles white. He’d been anxious the whole way driving home, hoping that Maxwell was okay and that nothing had gone wrong. Maxwell was carefree about the whole thing.

When they pulled into the garage, and after the doors had closed, Maxwell flung open his door after taking off his seatbelt and held his arms out to Andrew. Andrew frowned, but didn’t avoid the man. He felt he had to take 100% of the fault here.

Maxwell needed help getting back into the house once they had arrived. His legs were not working the way he wanted them to, and Andrew couldn’t blame him. After all, Andrew had prevented him from moving the last round, and he’d had a hard time getting into his seat after.

Andrew kind of felt like a piece of shit, but it was Maxwell who was all giggles and smiles after their hot sexcapades in the car. In fact, he looked refreshed, happy, and glowing.

"Carry me to the bathroom, would you? I want to take the pill now, just in case." Maxwell said, and Andrew’s stomach dropped. Having Maxwell in his arms was no hardship. He’d carry Maxwell wherever he wanted. It just made him feel like a piece of shit to be reminded that he’d lost control.

He’d fucked up one of Maxwell’s expensive cars too.

He knew his thoughts were spiraling, but he had no idea how to talk him out of this loop. Yes, Maxwell had wanted him to cum inside, but that didn’t mean Andrew didn’t worry about the consequences of their actions. Of his actions. Maxwell even said that he didn’t expect that much cum to come out of Andrew.

This sense of guilt was eating him alive as he took Maxwell carefully, gingerly across the first floor and placed him gently on the counter of the bathroom. He searched for the pills, found them, and handed them to Maxwell delicately, while also getting him a glass to drink some water out of if he needed it.

Maxwell was busy reading the box, making sure he took the right amount, before popping four pills into his hand and dry swallowing them. Andrew blinked, shocked, while Maxwell pushed his hair out of his face with a dirty grin.

"You pack a punch, Dr. Knox. Now why don’t you help me get showered and cleaned up, hmm?" Andrew, for the first time, hesitated.

"I...are you sure?" He asked softly, and Maxwell stared at him in shock.

"Are you...saying no to showering with me?" He asked and Andrew felt panic fill him.

"N-No! I just-maybe you don’t want to be around me right now?" Andrew suggested, and Maxwell sighed. He closed his eyes, leaning his head back and a sense of dread filled Andrew’s stomach. Had he said something wrong?

"Andrew, Baby, what are you worrying about right now? What has that usually smart brain of yours panicking? Hmm? What do you need me to do?" Andrew flinched. His words weren’t meant to be accusatory, but it felt like he was burdening Maxwell. He never wanted to be a burden. He only wanted to be able to help, to assist. Never cause him more problems.

He already felt like he’d done that enough. How long had Maxwell been working from home for him? When Andrew knew that Maxwell had traveled around the world all the time before they started dating. Honestly, everyone had been so accepting of him, that Andrew had forgotten to worry about this.

What if they were just being nice? Because they liked his mom, but didn’t like him? What if he was holding Maxwell back? What if-

"Baby, please, you look ill. Don’t do this to yourself on your own. If you keep it inside like this, I won’t know how to help you, and then I’ll get super worried about you. Do you want me to get sick from worry?" Andrew shook his head, trying to clear it of his terrible thoughts, but it didn’t work. Andrew dropped his head, gripping onto the counter a few feet away from Maxwell.

"I...I feel like I’ve harmed you, and I don’t want to be a burden to you. You...you have to hole yourself up in this house with me because I’m not stable, and I just worry that I’m holding you back. And then...you just took four pills. I know that’s not normal, and I-" Maxwell reached out with his leg, touching his thigh. His toes dug into the flesh there, the pain causing Andrew to flinch.

"Hush. None of that. You are not a burden to me, Baby. I chose to work from home. Here, read the box, and you’ll see why I took four." Maxwell handed over the box, and for a minute the words swam in front of Andrew’s eyes. Rubbing his eyes under his glasses, he attempted to read the words again.

The box talked a lot about side effects, how many to take per weight, and also...about true alphas. The base was four pills for them. Andrew swallowed thickly, before glancing up at Maxwell who had a soft, warm grin on his face.

"You are such a worrywart, Andrew." Maxwell said, affection in his voice and Andrew felt his eyes water.

"H-How could I not be? I care about you so much, and I don’t want to hurt you. I...I had some weird thoughts when we were together in the car and I..." Andrew dropped his head again, squeezing the box in his hands. "I feel like I’m changing for the worse." He admitted. His throat was closing up as these feelings overwhelmed him. He felt unstable.

He was unstable. And yes, he’d held out very well over the last few days, but something felt like it was cracking inside of him. He hated this. He hated feeling like he wasn’t himself, and like there was something wrong with him. Coming to terms with his changes wasn’t easy. He’d never wanted to be an alpha, let alone one that was exactly like his father.

The sound of Maxwell’s feet hitting the ground filled his ears, and Andrew’s eyes widened. He panicked as Maxwell’s legs weren’t able to hold his weight, and Andrew immediately caught him before he hit the ground. Andrew turned panicked eyes to him, while Maxwell chuckled and took Andrew’s face in his hands. He pressed several kisses all over him, holding his face firmly in his hands.

"Andrew, my sweet, sweet boyfriend. My sweet newly manifested boyfriend. It’s okay to not feel like yourself, because you are changing. Having thoughts about me isn’t bad." Andrew shook his head.

"No. They were possessive. Controlling. I do not want to do that to you for real." Andrew whispered, and Maxwell’s nostrils flared before his expression softened again.

"You were possessive of me?" He asked, and Andrew nodded.

"Very. I...I wanted to get you a..." Andrew’s cheeks flushed as he remembered the words he’d thought. Maxwell’s smile grew naughty.

"A leash? A collar? Come on, spit it out." Maxwell teased, and Andrew swallowed. He glanced away from Maxwell’s eyes, playing with the fabric of Maxwell’s jacket. He hadn’t placed his hands firmly on Maxwell in fear he wouldn’t release him again, or he’d squeeze too tightly.

"...I wanted to get you a butt plug so that every time I came inside you I could just put it in so that not an ounce would drip out of you." He muttered and winced at Maxwell’s soft inhale.

"That will have to wait." Maxwell said, and Andrew flinched. "Neither one of us wants a kid yet, so we need to wait before we can do that. The drugs are good, but not that good." Andrew’s gaze darted up to Maxwell’s, which was dancing with amusement. "What? Did you think I’d say no? Andrew, I’m the one who was insistent when you were reluctant to cum inside of me. Do you think I am going to say no to that?" Maxwell pressed his lips against Andrew’s, a smile blooming across his face when he pulled back. "That sounds like a devil’s temptation when it comes from your mouth, and your voice is all low and raspy. Fuck, I bet you could get me to do a lot of things if you spoke to me like that normally." Andrew blinked slowly, his fingers flexing.

"R-Really?" Andrew asked, his heart in his throat. Maxwell shook his head, smiling.

"Baby, I mean it. If you begged me in that deep voice of yours when you’re having a bad day, I might even cave and let you eat me out again." Andrew’s heart raced in his chest and he exhaled shakily.

"O-Oh." Andrew said softly, and Maxwell chuckled, pressing his lips against Andrew’s face.

"You are so silly sometimes. These worries of yours build up so quickly I don’t even know where they come from. You aren’t holding me back Baby. It was about time that I took a break from traveling anyways, and I like being at home with you. Do not even get it into your head that I don’t like it. You’re the best house husband a man could ask for, and I’m worried you are going to try to take on all the housework when we both go back to work. Which is going to be soon. Father said so." Maxwell whispered against Andrew’s lips. "So don’t worry about this on your own. It hurts me more to know you are in pain and refusing to tell me." Maxwell’s voice held such sorrow that Andrew immediately regretted his actions.

"I...I’m sorry Maxwell. I didn’t want to hurt you." Andrew whispered, and Maxwell pressed more kisses against his skin.

"You aren’t hurting me physically, Baby. I just care about you so much I want to take away all of your worries. So don’t be greedy and keep them all to yourself. Share them."

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