(BL)Alpha Made
Chapter 201: An old friend in hand

Chapter 201: An old friend in hand

"Andy, buddy, what the hell is going on? You look like death and is that...the same clothes you wore yesterday?" It was Richard, and he was on him as soon as Andrew stepped in for work. He was in early, early enough that he knew that Maxwell wasn’t in yet.

When Andrew had woken up, thinking that it was all a nightmare, he’d let out a deep sigh. Then, he’d patted the bed next to him and jerked up, realising that Maxwell wasn’t in the bed beside him. His heart had been racing in his chest, and he glanced around at first. He’d been unable to see, so he scrambled to get his glasses and once he put them on and realised that this wasn’t his house, or Maxwell’s, his heart had plummeted in his chest.

He’d buried his head in his knees and cried.

He couldn’t eat, couldn’t even drink a coffee or water, so he just got in a taxi and headed to work. He had hoped that no one else was going to be here, but here Richard was, ever the good worker.

Andrew sighed, shaking his head as he moved towards his desk, not even attempting to put on a fake smile since he knew it wouldn’t work on Richard.

"It’s nothing." Andrew mumbled, taking off his coat and placing it on the back of his chair. He’d at least gotten a shower, so he didn’t smell bad, but he’d...kept the hotel room, just in case. After all, he had a stupid amount of money now, he could probably live in hotels for the rest of his life if he wanted to.

A bitter smile touched his lips as he sat down at his desk. There was a chance that he might have to do that, if he didn’t make up with Maxwell, but at the same time...he was so angry.

He also hadn’t messaged him.

He hadn’t messaged, called, nothing. Andrew had woken up with no alerts on his phone besides his alarm to wake up on time. It had ravaged more inside of him. He felt alone.

He felt so alone.

He didn’t even feel like he could confide in Richard, since he didn’t want to burden him. He’d just started repairing his relationships that he’d abandoned when he’d moved away, and he’d just told them about the kidnapping and...forced manifestation.

He couldn’t tell them about everything else. Not right now. Besides, maybe he was overreacting. Maybe he was just being silly, and Maxwell would come around in a day. It wasn’t impossible. Maybe he missed him too.

Andrew exhaled slowly, trying to gather himself but he could feel the tears in his eyes. Jerking up suddenly, Andrew grabbed the lab coats they were supposed to wear when they went into the study rooms.

"I-I’ll deal with the study rooms today. Dr. Piper can take a break." Andrew mumbled, before shoving the protective gloves and glasses on his face and stumbling into the sealed room.

He knew he was going to be overflowing today, and he didn’t want to go back to the hotel. So, sealing himself in the study room was the best bet. Richard stared at him, his expression shocked before he frowned.

Andrew knew Richard wasn’t an idiot, but at the same time, Maxwell was his boss. He wouldn’t go poking, as long as Andrew was able to keep himself together. All Andrew had to do was hold himself together.

~

Andrew thought he was dying. His heart hurt so much it felt like he was having a heart attack.

Maxwell hadn’t been by all day.

He hadn’t called, he hadn’t texted, he hadn’t even sent a message.

It had just been Andrew, who hadn’t even gone to get food all day, Richard who was watching him like a hawk, and Dr. Cox and Dr. Piper.

Dr. Cox and Dr. Piper weren’t idiots either, and they knew something was up, but Andrew wasn’t talking. He couldn’t talk. He’d start sobbing.

The only benefit that Andrew had was that Dr. Cox left early, he’d taken over for Dr. Piper in the study room all day, and having to focus on work had given him a break from the pain inside of him.

It was the end of the day now, and Andrew was almost waiting for Maxwell to come pick him up. He kept glancing at the door, but time kept ticking on, and nothing happened. Andrew knew he wasn’t able to keep a straight face as he came out of the study room, and he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to.

Richard watched him, his gaze soft, worried.

"Andy, what’s going on dude? Something is clearly wrong." Andrew shook his head, pulling off the equipment he had to wear inside before heading for his desk and grabbing his coat.

"It’s fine." Andrew muttered, pulling on his coat. "I...I might not come in tomorrow." Andrew mumbled and that seemed to worry Richard more.

"Why? Is something wrong?" Andrew gave him a weak, sad smile.

"I just need a mental health day." Andrew lied, and it was clear that everyone in the room knew something else was going on, but without Andrew willing to speak about it, they couldn’t really push it. Richard knew what pushing Andrew to talk meant.

It meant Andrew getting more quiet, until he fucking left. So, he held his tongue and watched as Andrew dragged himself out of the office and towards the elevators.

"Should we...call someone?" Dr. Piper asked quietly and Richard sighed.

"I don’t even know who to call." He muttered as Andrew waited for the elevator.

Andrew had hoped that he would have run into Maxwell at all in the lobby or otherwise, but he didn’t see him at all. There wasn’t even a whiff of him in the lobby either, so he hadn’t been by recently.

Sniffing, Andrew pulled his jacket around him tightly, before he called a taxi and asked them to take him to the nearest liquor store and then asked them to wait as he grabbed something. The taxi was clearly a little worried about Andrew, and that alone told him how unhinged he must have looked.

The taxi waited for him, and when Andrew came back out with several bottles of liquor, even the driver seemed worried. But, they said nothing, and drove Andrew to the fancy hotel he was staying in, and Andrew tipped them generously before he got out. The hotel key burned in his pocket as he stepped into the lobby and headed for the elevators. He felt ill, and dizzy already and he tried to think about when he had last eaten.

He chuckled to himself when he realised it had been last night, but given the state of his body, he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to eat now either. He knew he should, he knew that there were a lot of things that he should do, but he felt like everything was coming down around him.

The elevator arrived, and he rode up to his room in silence. He could feel his heart beating in his chest, he could hear himself breathing in the small space, and he was thankful for when the door opened on his level.

He half expected Maxwell to be standing outside of his hotel room, pissed, his arms crossed as he glared at Andrew, but he wasn’t. Instead, the hallway was empty, and Andrew felt like his heart was being yanked out of his chest. Stumbling, Andrew made it to the door, unlocked it, before he stumbled in and collapsed in the hallway.

He made sure he didn’t break the bottles as he slid to the ground, his back against the door as he felt the sobs shake his body. The tears poured down his face, and he took his glasses off so they didn’t get in the way as he pressed his hands against his face.

Fuck. This was awful.

Was this it? Were they done?

Was Andrew going to have to start all over, again?

Had he lost another important person to him because of a hospital? He should have just kept his mouth shut. He should have just remained silent. He should have trusted Maxwell. He wasn’t an idiot, and he had known that Andrew was worried about it. He was bound to bring it up. He should have known better.

If he had done that, if he hadn’t spoken up, if he hadn’t made him feel small, would things have ended differently?

Would Andrew still be at home? Would he still be able to hold Maxwell in his arms? Would he still be able to have a place to call home?

Andrew sobbed, shaking his head.

"What did I do wrong?" He asked no one. Andrew whimpered, reaching into the bag next to him as he continued to cry. With experienced hands, Andrew undid the cap on a bottle of whiskey with his fingers on one hand, before he raised it to his trembling lips and poured the brown liquid into his mouth.

It burned, but it was a familiar friend. Andrew swallowed greedily, wanting the liquid to take the pain away. Take away all of his worries, his issues. He knew it was temporary, it was always temporary, but that was enough.

He would take anything right now to get away from this horrible feeling in his chest. He felt like he was bleeding out, but the whiskey would fix it. It always fixed it. Even a temporary fix would help.

After that, he’d...he’d start looking for another job. Maybe he could work in a cafe or something? He didn’t need to become a doctor again. He wouldn’t want to take advantage of the kindness of the Becketts. They probably wouldn’t want to see someone as disgusting as him again anyways. He could just go back into the background again. He doubted that anyone would notice.

He just had a few blinding months with Maxwell. He’d have to accept that. Even if he felt like everything inside of him would never be okay again, he’d have to get over it. If Maxwell decided he wanted nothing to do with him again, he’d have to accept it. It was Maxwell’s choice, and in a sick way, Andrew felt himself smile.

They weren’t marked. They weren’t bound. Maxwell could make these choices. It was...it was relieving. Yeah.

That was what this tearing feeling in his chest was. Relief.

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