Beneath the Alpha's Moon
Chapter 38: Fears and Determination

Chapter 38: Fears and Determination

TERESA’S P.O.V.

The next morning, I woke up with a strange heaviness in my chest, a whisper of doubt that seemed to have taken root overnight. It was as though a cloud hovered over me, drawing shadows on my thoughts, but I forced myself to shake it off.

I placed a hand over my stomach, gently pressing down as if I could somehow feel the tiny heartbeats I’d heard just yesterday. The whole thing felt surreal. I was going to be a mother. Me—clumsy, scatterbrained Teresa? The thought sent a thrill of excitement through me, closely followed by a wave of anxiety. My heart raced, and for the first time, I actually cared how fast it was beating. I wanted to keep myself calm, keep my pulse steady, as if somehow I could shield my babies from any sudden shock. The notion made me chuckle—it was both absurd and oddly comforting.

After a while of sitting on my bed, trying to breathe deeply and evenly, I tossed off my blanket and decided it was time to start the day.

A long, hot shower helped ease some of the nervous energy, letting my mind drift as I let the warmth wash over me. Breakfast followed in a slow, almost automatic rhythm—I’d promised myself I’d stick to the doctor’s orders to rest today, if only for the sake of my little ones. But as the minutes dragged on in the quiet stillness, I felt the walls closing in, my thoughts circling restlessly. Staying cooped up here, alone with my mind and fears, felt almost unbearable.

I needed to see him. Luke’s words in the hospital echoed in my mind: he was the father of my children. I couldn’t keep him in the dark about them. After all this time, I knew this was the moment I’d been secretly hoping for and simultaneously avoiding, and yet, here it was—the perfect excuse to face Lucian Blackwood again, no matter how much I dreaded what might come of it.

By late morning, I’d somehow convinced myself to take the plunge. At 11 a.m., I stood outside the towering structure of ’Blackwood Conglomerate’, its gleaming glass walls stretching into the sky. The building exuded a cold, intimidating elegance, sharp and impenetrable, a perfect reflection of Lucian himself. As I stepped through the imposing double doors, I felt the weight of my own hesitation pressing down, each step echoing in the pristine marble lobby as I approached the reception desk.

With a deep breath, I signed in and clipped on a visitor’s pass, glancing at my reflection in the polished windows. The woman staring back at me looked tense, her eyes shadowed with nerves. I forced myself to look braver, chin up, eyes steeled. I couldn’t afford to show any weakness, not here.

The receptionist’s polite smile was professional but detached as she pointed me toward Kenneth’s office after I mentioned a "confidential matter" involving Lucian. Kenneth, Lucian’s personal assistant, had a quiet, almost invisible presence—a man who could fade into the background while being privy to every detail of his employer’s life. As he glanced up and recognized me, his expression shifted from mild surprise to a warmth tinged with something that felt like sympathy. I bristled at the look but knew I didn’t have the energy to argue it away.

Kenneth invited me into his office, gesturing toward a seat with a welcoming nod. He offered me tea, but I quickly declined, my mind fixed on the reason I was there. Leaning forward, I spoke carefully, choosing each word with purpose. "Kenneth, please... I need to speak with Lucian. Just five minutes. It’s... incredibly important."

Kenneth’s gaze softened as he took in my tone and demeanor. There was a heavy pause as he weighed my urgency against his duty, his loyalty to Lucian against the silent plea in my eyes. After what felt like ages, he gave me a small, understanding nod.

"I’ll see what I can do," he murmured, leaving me alone in his office.

With each passing second, doubt crept back, filling the silence and tugging at my resolve. I could feel my pulse pounding in my temples, the steady thrum blending with the restless tapping of my fingers against the desk. When Kenneth didn’t return right away, the tension inside me grew unbearable. Driven by a force I couldn’t control, I took a deep, steadying breath and left his office, moving purposefully through the familiar hallways. Pride, fear, and a strange kind of longing warred within me, but what did I have left to lose? Perhaps a last shred of dignity—but for this, I was willing to pay that price.

Finally, I reached Lucian’s office, the sleek door a solid barrier between us. I raised my hand, poised to knock, but then froze as I heard his voice through the door, resonant and authoritative. Even muted, it was powerful, a reminder of the man who lay just beyond the threshold, the man who had once been my world.

"Do not—ever—speak her name," he growled, his voice dark and venomous. The words sliced through the air with a dangerous finality, and I could feel the raw anger pulsing off him, sharp enough to send a cold shiver down my spine. "You’re not allowed to even think of Teresa," he snarled, his voice rising, each word hammering the command home with brutal force.

I sucked in a sharp breath, realization hitting me hard—he was talking about me. Poor Kenneth must have gone to inform Lucian of my request to see him, and now, hearing the hatred in his voice, it was painfully clear that he wanted nothing to do with me.

Panic seized me, rooting me in place for a split second before survival instinct took over. I spun around, my heart pounding, and bolted. I didn’t stop, didn’t dare look back, my only thought was to get out—away from the fury, from him. I raced through the lobby, my heels echoing against the marble floors as I dashed past startled faces. When I finally reached my car, I flung myself inside, breathless, slamming the door as if it alone could keep his wrath at bay.

As I started driving, the initial shock began to dissolve, making way for a torrent of emotions I couldn’t hold back. My chest tightened, gripped by a suffocating blend of regret and raw, gut-wrenching fear. How had I misread him so completely? Every quiet look, every fleeting smile he’d allowed himself to share, the warmth I felt just being near him—were they nothing more than illusions I’d spun to soothe myself? Each memory replayed now felt like a cruel mockery, a betrayal of my own heart.

Yet, beneath it all, a relentless ache gnawed at me, sharp and unyielding. His words echoed mercilessly in my mind. He hated me. Lucian Blackwood despised me so much that he couldn’t even bear to hear my name spoken aloud. My hands gripped the steering wheel harder, knuckles white, as I sped down the empty road, the outside world blurring into streaks of color. His voice still rang in my ears, each word thorned and vicious, wrapping around my thoughts and refusing to let go. Pain and disbelief clawed at me, leaving me feeling hollow like I was breaking apart from the inside.

*******

I forced my gaze to stay on the road, but a single thought pushed its way into every corner of my mind—the babies growing inside me. The weight of it was overwhelming. If Lucian despised me this much, what would he do if he found out about them? The question alone sent an icy shiver down my spine. I couldn’t let him know. I couldn’t risk bringing my children into a world where their father’s hatred might one day reach them. No, I would protect them, shield them from the wrath that was Lucian Blackwood.

As the familiar outline of my home appeared in the distance, a fierce resolve began to replace the fear. I had to disappear. I would slip away into the shadows, bury myself so deeply that he’d never find me—or my children. It was the only way to keep them safe. I couldn’t allow him to discover us, couldn’t bear the thought of him one day claiming a right to their lives. The idea twisted my heart, filling me with dread. My children would never know his hatred, his darkness.

A shiver coursed through me, my hands trembling as I clenched the wheel harder, willing myself not to cry. I couldn’t afford to be weak. Not now. I had to be strong—for them. These children were my responsibility, and I would do whatever it took to keep them safe from the man who had torn my heart to shreds.

With a trembling hand, I hurriedly fished my phone out of my pocket, hitting Luke’s number on speed dial and setting it to speaker. Within seconds, his calm, familiar voice filled the car. "Hey, Tess. How did it go? Did you tell him yet?"

My voice came out shaky but determined. "We need to talk," I said. "Meet me at my place. I’m heading there now."