Beneath the Alpha's Moon
Chapter 30: Go Away

Chapter 30: Go Away

LUCIAN’S POV

The morning hit like a slap. I opened my eyes, squinting against the morning light filtering through the curtains, and I felt warmth—someone was in my arms. I looked down at my chest and it was her, Teresa. Her head rested on my chest, her breath soft against my skin. And we were both...naked. My stomach dropped.

What the hell? Why was she here? Flashes of last night began to tear through my mind and my heart sunk deeper. I remembered the fight—Ares and I were having a heated argument about Teresa, and then I caught a whiff of her scent, she had been following me, her presence made Ares more desperate and then he surged forward, overpowering me completely. He’d taken control. I’d been helpless against him.

Panic clenched in my gut, and I slipped out of bed as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake her just yet until I could recollect my thoughts. My mind was a storm. Teresa—innocent, sweet Teresa. What had I done? I started pacing across the room, fists clenched, fury, fear, and shame pulsing through every nerve.

"Ares!" I snarled out loud, feeling him there, lurking in my mind. "What did you do?!"

I felt him flinch, his voice like a distant echo, sounding genuinely regretful. "Lucian, I... I lost control. The full moon was stronger than I could handle. I didn’t mean to—"

"Didn’t mean to what?!" I cut him off, my voice sharp, fear pricking at me like a torn. "You knew exactly what you were doing, Ares. That’s why you knocked me out!"

"I’m... I’m sorry." His apology grated against my anger, every word chafing like sandpaper.

"Sorry? You’re sorry?!" I spat, stopping in front of the window, my fists flexing at my sides. "You knew this would destroy us, and you still did it!" I could feel Ares’ guilt gnawing at him, but it did nothing to lessen my fury. I wasn’t going to let him turn me into the monster our father had been. I wasn’t going to be my father!

There was a pause, as if Ares was gathering his strength, and I could feel his fear grow like a shadow passing over my heart. "No. No, Lucian. You’re nothing like him. You have heart, and... and Teresa sees it, even if you refuse to."

My pulse quickened at the mention of her. She was... different. I’d tried to keep my distance, to keep her safe from the chaos that was my life. But Ares had to ruin every! "You ruined everything Ares, everything!"

"Lucian, please just... breathe," he tried to reason, but I shut him down instantly. "No, you shut up! I won’t let you take everything down with me!"

Behind me, I heard the soft rustle of sheets and I turned to look. Teresa stirred lightly, her lashes fluttering as she blinked awake, still caught in that hazy space between dream and reality. Her face was relaxed and softened by sleep. There was something so... gentle about her in that moment, something that felt entirely too vulnerable. I had seen a lot in my life, yet there was an innocence to her that struck me, as though she were untouched by the weight of the world I carried.

Her curly brown hair was tousled, framing her face in delicate, messy waves that fell around her shoulders. There was no perfection here, no pretense, just a raw, natural beauty that tugged at something deep within me. Her lips were parted, the faintest hint of a smile there, as though she’d been dreaming of something beautiful. Or maybe of someone who didn’t carry the shadows I did.

She looked beautiful, so beautiful that it made me more angry. She was the road to my destruction and I wasn’t going to let her succeed. I had to nip it before I was completely finished by her.

When her eyes opened fully and caught sight of me, there was a flicker of surprise before it faded into a gentle warmth. She smiled, sleep still dusting her gaze, and I felt my defenses waver.

"Lucian," she murmured, her voice soft and tinged with the sweetness of sleep. It was ridiculous how just my name, spoken by her, could reach me like that, cutting through every barrier I’d built but I wasn’t going to be fooled, not like Ares was.

Her eyes flicked as she took in my expression but the warmth still remained in her gaze, even though I knew she could feel the anger radiating off me. She was so open, so trusting. It twisted the knife in deeper.

I stared at her, my anger a shield against the hurt and fear I was feeling. I kept my voice cold, and steady. "Why did you follow me last night, Teresa? Do you have no self-respect?"

Her face fell, confusion flickered across her features, then quickly turned to hurt. "What...?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Do you follow every man who shows you a little kindness? Is that how you are, Teresa?" The words were out before I could stop them, sharper than I intended, but I couldn’t afford to stop now. She needed to leave, to forget me so I could forget her as well. I knew I could do it, if she was gone. I could see the devastation in her eyes as my words hit her, one after the other.

"Lucian, why are you saying this?" Her voice cracked with unshed tears, sadness giving way to anger. "Last night, you were different... you were kind. I thought you liked me. Did I do something wrong?"

I forced a scoff. "Kind? Like you? That’s what men do when they want something, Teresa. It’s common knowledge!" I saw her flinch, but I pressed on, hating myself more with every word. "It’s what Mark did to you, remember? Didn’t you learn anything? I thought you were wiser than this Teresa! Clearly, I gave you too much credit."

Her lips parted, her pretty brown eyes filling with tears as my words sank in. Her pain clashed with the softness in her gaze, that kindness that was like a knife to my chest. Behind the anger, I felt a pang of something too raw to name.

"Lucian, why are you saying this?" Her voice wavered, soft and pleading. "What did I do wrong last night? Just tell me, and I’ll make it right. Please... don’t be like this."

She clutched the blanket tightly around herself, her hands trembling as she pulled it closer, almost as if it were a shield. Slowly, she rose to her knees on the bed, her gaze desperate, searching my face for any sign of softness.

For a fleeting moment, I wanted to feel sorry, to reach out and ease the pain I saw in her eyes. But I forced myself to stay cold, hardening my expression into a mask that gave nothing away.

"Lucian, please stop it. This is hurting her—" Ares’ voice begged desperately in my head. I ignored him.

"Get dressed," I said, turning my back to her, needing space, needing to distance myself. I could hear her picking up her clothes, and fumbling with trembling hands. My heart clenched, screaming at me to stop this, but I buried it. I kept my face cold, my voice sharp. "Hurry up!" I boomed, letting my alpha voice steep into my command.

"Please, Lucian," Ares kept begging. "Take it out on me, but don’t do this to her. It’s all my fault, Lucian, please."

But I was past reasoning. I had to end it. She had to leave.

When she was finally dressed, she turned to leave, her shoulders hunched, broken. But I wasn’t finished. "Not just my room, Teresa. I want you to pack your things and leave my estate. I don’t want to see you here again. Not in this life."

Her steps faltered, and she looked back at me, eyes glassy with tears. Her voice was barely a whisper, shaking, full of hurt. "I will never forgive you for this, Lucian. For using me like this." A single tear fell down her cheek as she turned around and bolted out of my room

The room felt like it was closing in on me. I could feel Ares’ grief tearing through me, clawing, but I forced myself to stay silent, to hold my ground. I didn’t move as she left, but the moment the door clicked shut, my resolve cracked.

I fell to my knees, the full weight of what I’d done crashing over me, drowning me. The silence in my head was deafening—Ares had gone completely quiet, his presence hollow, a painful echo of his earlier cries. I pressed my fists against my eyes, willing myself not to feel this, but it was useless. I had broken something beautiful, and it was my fault.

I told myself I’d done the right thing. That this was how it had to be. This way my heart and mental health were protected. But my heart felt like it had shattered, and I knew I was lying to myself.

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