Bastian
Chapter Side Story 24 - A Certain Premonition

✧A Certain Premonition✧

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

“Don’t you think its time to share the news with Admiral Klauswitz?” Dr Kramer said.

   Odette turned from where she had been staring up at the vibrant blue sky through the window. Joy, fear, anticipation, anxiety and confusion played across her face all at once.

   “I understand your concerns, Lady Odette, but this precaution seems unnecessary,” Kramer continued.

   “I know, Doctor, but…” Odette couldn’t find the words to say and cast her eyes about the clinic room. She needed a bit more time to collect herself, managing to keep the tears at bay. Dr. Kramer, true to form, waited for her with patience.

   In no short a term, what had happened was a miracle. She felt it around the time Bastian left on his business trip. Given that she had not had her period yet and she was constantly getting cramps in her tummy and a feeling of lethargy just wouldn’t leave her. It was a feeling she had felt before, but she couldn’t be sure. On that dreary final day of summer, she found herself alone and filled with excitement at the thought of being pregnant.

Odette tried not to let her expectations rise, fearing the agony of being hurt once more was too much to bear. Yet, her heart persistently defied her resolve. Despite knowing it wasn’t wise, her hope swelled with each passing day. Each morning, she awoke to check if the familiar ache remained. Feeling drowsy and the flutter of nerves in her stomach, she found a strange sense of happiness. It was as though her heart expanded, light and fluffy like cotton candy.

On the last day of August, fueled by an unwavering belief that her intuition could not be mistaken, Odette made her way to the hospital. It was there she embraced the news she had so dearly hoped for. The doctor revealed that quite a bit of time had elapsed; the conception had occurred before the end of June, indicating the child would arrive with the spring blossoms.

   When the doctor had confirmed the news, Odette longed for Bastian even more, but he was a million miles away overseas. She had hoped he would call her so she could share the happy news as soon as possible.  Almost as though attuned to her feelings, Bastian reached out to her, making it seem as if the entire universe was conspiring to shower her  with blessings. 

But when he called her, she found she could not say anything. The fear of what might happen if something was to inevitably go wrong made her keep the news to herself. Early miscarriages, unfortunately, were not rare, affecting even those in the peak of health. After the heartbreak of losing their first child and the subsequent caution regarding potential infertility, Odette found it overly bold to harbor optimism for this pregnancy.

   Just a little longer, she thought to herself. Just to be safe.

   Odette decided to wait a little longer, just to be on the safe side. If the baby continued to grow after Bastian’s return, she would tell him and confess, but that resolution had yet to pass.

 “I’m scared,” whispered Odette, her voice quivering with emotion, barely making it past her lips.“I’m scared I wont be able to protect the child, Doctor. I don’t want to impose that pain on Bastian. Wouldn’t it be better just to wait a little longer, until we can be certain?” Tear glistened in Odette’s eyes. 

After excusing the obstetrician, Dr. Kramer had his secretary bring in some warm tea and chocolates. He kindly offered Odette a cup. Holding it, she relaxed, gazing out at the backyard, her posture easing into the moment. With a soft smile towards Dr. Kramer, the soothing scent of bergamot from the tea began to calm her.

“I’m sorry, Doctor. I was too emotional and sensitive.” Odette apologised.

   “Its perfectly fine and only natural to feel this way during pregnancy. Don’t worry yourself so much,” Doctor Kramer said with a reassuring smile, offering a plate of chocolate. Hesitating, Odette carefully plucked up a small piece.

Dr. Kramer observed her with a mix of warmth and empathy. Odette, clearly weary, maintained her composure impeccably, even her manner of eating chocolate looked elegant. Her quest for perfection and overburdening sense of responsibility hinted at deeper scars—marks of past pains. He sensed these were both her armor and her chains: weapons for someone who had to mature prematurely, yet also weights that restrained her.

   “I fully understand your reluctance, Lady Odette. ”said Dr. kramer. “Your child is growing well and strong, but I can not guarantee a trouble free birth, we are not gods. I have seen it many times in women who have had earlier miscarriages and while the vast majority went on to have many healthy children, not even us doctors are able to predict the future. ‘Right time’ you’re hoping for simply doesn’t exist. Surely, you don’t plan to wait until the child is born to tell Bastian about your pregnancy.”

Odette nodded, a slight blush tinged her pale cheeks. 

“Given the circumstances, there’s a very good chance the baby will be born healthy. The primary concern for you and the child right now is to eat well and get plenty of rest. The damage caused by the previous still birth seems to have healed over very nicely. Thanks to your healthy habits, you have created the perfect scenario with which the fetus can grow. Even with all this, we can not completely rule out the chances of another miscarriage and this is not something you should face alone. The moment a child is conceived, the father becomes a parent too. Not carrying the child doesn’t free him from responsibility. If hardship or sorrow arises again, Bastian must face it as well.” Dr. Kramer offered a handkerchief from his pocket, placing it beside the plate of chocolates. 

Yet, Odette didn’t cry. Tears brimmed in her eyes, but she absorbed his words with calm grace.

“Bastian isn’t a fragile child who needs your shielding. He has a significant responsibility to protect his wife and child. And from what I’ve seen of Bastian over the years, he’ll embrace this role with open arms. So, share this burden. Lean on your husband and allow yourself to be vulnerable. This is advice from a father with a daughter,  not merely as your physician,” Dr. Kramer expressed, his sincerity touching every word.

   “Thank you, Doctor,” Odette said, forlorn but able to keep the tears at bay.

In the tranquility that followed, they finished their tea together. By the time the tea was gone, Odette found herself smiling more freely.

 “I’ll call the obstetrician back in,” said Dr. Kramer, noticing Odette’s empty cup and standing up. 

“No, Doctor, that won’t be necessary,” Odette replied, shaking her head as she stood to follow him. The cloud of frustration that had loomed over her for days had lifted. She realized she had known the answer all along but lacked the courage to face it. “I should be on my way now. My husband will accompany me for the next visit,” she announced, setting a new appointment as she departed from Dr. Kramer’s office.

Love demands responsibility, a truth Odette held close to her heart. Her love for Bastian meant she was committed to honoring that responsibility. Yet, now she began to grasp the importance of respecting Bastian’s love in return.

Leaving the hospital parking lot, Odette headed back towards Ardenne in her light yellow car. She soon found herself on the boulevard in front of the Admiralty, steering her car towards the entrance, circling the central fountain. The security was strict, but as Admiral Klauwitz’s wife, she passed the inspection with ease.

Acknowledging the saluting guards with a brief nod, Odette drove towards the naval headquarters. The Navy building, with its golden spire adorned with a trident symbolizing the sea god’s power, was especially radiant under the day’s bright sunlight.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

Bastian sat in his office looking out at the sea with some longing. He might still be in the navy, but working behind the desk was no where near like working the bridge of a ship. His reverie was broken when his adjutant poked his head around the door that had stood ajar.

   “Sir, there’s a visitor. She’s waiting for you in the garden.”

   Bastian frowned and stubbed out the cigarette he was smoking. Slapped a signature on the last document and handed them to the adjutant. “Get those to their places,” Bastian said and rushed out to the garden.

   To hear that Odette was waiting for him in the garden, for it could only be Odette, was a bit of a shock. He had never expected his wife to do something so spontaneous and must mean there was something wrong. He got half way out the door when he realised he had forgotten his headdress, but he was an Admiral, who was going to call him out for it?

   By the time Bastian reached the bottom step and strode ever faster toward the gardens, he had convinced himself that there was something wrong and he all but broke out into a sprint. Odette’s recent off behaviour had all but connived him there was something wrong. She had been recoiling from even the slightest whisper of his touch, but she never seemed upset or angry with him. 

No way…

Last Saturday night, Odette once again gently refused to share the bed, asking instead for something as unusual as cocoa without rum. Despite his bewilderment and slight irritation, he accommodated her request. To his surprise, Odette was delighted with the cocoa he made, drinking it with an enthusiasm that was starkly different from her recent difficulties with eating.

   “Odette?” Bastian whispered her name.

Odette glanced up at him, her eyes wide and full of unspoken words. Despite having much to say, Bastian ultimately chose silence. Offering a slightly awkward smile, she hurried off to the bathroom as if running away.

Left alone in the bedroom, Bastian took a moment to reflect on the recent days. Odette had been dozing off frequently, and took a nap like a lazy cat. He also could her occasional sounds of nausea escaping from the locked bathroom. Her appetite had been strange, and she’d shown a heightened sensitivity and defensiveness. Putting all these pieces together, Bastian arrived at an inescapable conclusion.

Don’t tell me…

Bastian rounded the building’s corner. A few steps further, he encountered a riverside garden along the Prater, where the clarity of autumn’s light filtered through. There, under the canopy of street trees, sat Odette, waiting on a bench. Catching his breath, Bastian ran towards her.

“Bastian!” Odette’s face lit up with pure happiness as he approached. Bastian, taking a seat beside his wife, couldn’t help but smile softly at her warmth. 

“Why didn’t you wait in the office?” he asked, concern creasing his forehead at the sight of her flushed cheeks. Odette gently shook her head and took his hand in hers, a tender gesture of reassurance. 

“I preferred wait here. The air, carrying the scent of the water, comforts me. It seems this little one might take after you,” she said, her smile radiating innocence as she guided his hand to rest gently on her stomach. Bastian paused, needing a moment to grasp the full weight of her words.

“Odette…”

“We’re going to have a new member in our family, Bastian. We’ll meet them next spring.” Gazing directly into Bastian’s eyes, Odette once again shared the miraculous news with a calm voice. “I’ve had a feeling since last month that we might be expecting, but I hesitated to tell you, fearing I might be wrong. After confirming it at the hospital, my worries shifted to the health of our baby due to my own health concerns. I thought it best to wait until the pregnancy was more stable before telling you, but I realize now that might have been a mistake. I’m sorry for not having the courage to tell you sooner.”

In the tranquil water garden, Odette awaited Bastian, ready with her thoughts composed. “This child was conceived last June. You’ve always embraced it with love. How did that feel for you?” she asked, tears welling up in her eyes.

Bastian, his lips parting slowly, let out a stifled sigh, finding himself at a loss for words. His fingers, gently caressing the burgeoning swell of her stomach, quivered ever so slightly. That simple gesture was enough; Odette could discern his unspoken answer

A child, conceived out of love, had come into their lives. Amidst the bright intensity of summer. A true miracle.

“I…” Bastian finally managed to speak after a lengthy silence. His eyes, fixed on Odette, were as red as the sunset sky.   “What can I do for you Odette?” Bastian said again.

   “Please, I need you to protect me and… our baby.”

   “I will.” he said in a rush of words.

   “Just as you have been a good husband to me, you need to be a good father to our child,” Odette said, throwing herself into Bastian’s arms.

   “I promise, Odette, always.”

   “Good, now I just want you to hold me.” Tears burst from Odette and soaked his jacket. “I’m so scared, Bastian. I’m so happy, but I am so scared also.”

The tears she had been holding back finally broke free. Bastian held her tightly, but not too tight. Odette, nestled in this haven of comfort, released a deep, prolonged cry—happily. It was the joy of a child who has found themselves in the loving arms of comfort.