Bastian
Chapter 194 - Your Odette

✧Your Odette✧

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

There was a strange air of quietness about the naval base ahead of the operation. The noisy festival atmosphere had passed on quite late into the night, now it felt like everyone was walking on thin ice.

   Bastian, along with the other senior officers, inspected the fleet and the port. The commander-in-chief had brought together a huge fleet. The flagship Rayvael was surrounded by three battleships and five battlecruisers. The reconnaissance fleet was set to leave at dawn, with 12 light cruisers and 18 destroyers in formation, and thanks to the ciphers they acquired from the captured ship, they were able to accurately predict the location of Admiral Sher.

   Ryan had chosen to lure the craft little fox out by sending in a small fleet of battleships to bombard the home port of the Lovita fleet. Once Admiral Sher was on the sea, they would then heard the fox into a kill box and sink him for good.

   It was going to be an interesting fight.

Bastian once again explained the scheme of battle operations before dismissing his troops. Despite being younger, all the captains and superiors obeyed the young admiral without question.

“May you have a nice dream, Admiral,” the colonel said politely, despite his previous hostility. 

Bastian saluted him. Comrades fight together, trusting their lives to one another and becoming united in front of the enemy.

He finished his inspection by taking a tour of the barracks. All the soldiers and ratings, who had been full of merriment not twelve hours earlier, were now gloom faced and concerned. They wore forced smiles as Bastian passed them. As letter and envelopes were handed out, the air grew heavier. 

Before a dangerous battle, they were given time to write a letter their family. It more like wills than actual letters and while some of the soldiers liked to enclose locks of hair in their letters, to give the families back home something to bury encase their bodies were lost at sea, Bastian did not indulge in such pointless traditions.

   Once the inspection was completed, Bastian returned to his quarters. After a long shower, a supply soldier delivered envelopes and stationery to his door.

“Sweet dreams, Admiral.” 

Bastian returned to the bedroom with the delivery and turned off the lights, letting in the bright moonlight. He threw the box on the desk and lit a cigarette by pulling out a lighter in the darkness.

   Sweet dreams. A grin crossed his lips. It was tradition in the Berg military to wish good dreams to the commanders before an important battle. It might be a good idea not to sleep tonight, afraid of the nightmares that might come

Bastian finished his cigarette and looked at the box with a new one in his mouth. Despite countless battles, he never made a will and  this night was no exception.

Now it was done.

He had fulfilled all the duties required of him, but had he done enough? He didn’t believe he held any regrets about his past life,  a belief that held true until his final days, though he wished he could see Odette who has found her place one more time.

   A newspaper with the news of Odette’s crowning had come a couple days ago. It filled out the whole front page and several pages after, but there was no photos. It was probably Odette’s choice. He was disappointed, but it was so her.

  He thought it would be a nice to dream about Odette that night. She was the most precious thing for him and that fact would not change with his last breath. Every moment spent with her felt like a beautiful dream. Even the hardships and heartaches were bittersweet, shining in their own brilliance.

She was the light, pulling him out from the depths of darkness. But little did she know, he was the one who imprisoned her in a never-ending nightmare. There was no way to undo the mistakes of the past, but he could avoid committing the same sins in the future. That small sliver of comfort made him smile. He wondered if he would have fallen into a restful sleep by now. 

Bastian looked at the pale moon rose high in the starry sky above, lost in the beauty of the night. The summer night he had spent with her before the war broke out was still fresh in his mind. Her big beautiful eyes looking at him with something other than hatred. Her loving gestures and even the smallest sounds of her breathing.  Despite knowing it was a mistake, he held no regret in his heart. Perhaps it was nothing more than a one-night stand, yet that memory continued to fuel him, keeping him alive until now.

   “Admiral Klauswitz.” 

   Bastian stamped out his cigarette and turned to see who had called to him. It was just a regular soldier. “A letter for you, sir, came in on the artillery ship.”

   “Why is the artillery ships carrying the mail?” Bastian said as he took the letter.

   “I don’t know, sir, I just know its an important letter from the Emperor.”

   Bastian gave a salute, never taking his eyes off the letter. It was from the Emperor, but it did not have the emperor’s name on the front of it. He held his breath, thinking he was dreaming. His eyes wavered at the sight of his name on an envelope with the emperor’s seal. He stayed in the cold winter night for a while even after the soldier left.

   Your Odette.

He looked at that dreamy name again and again

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

To my Bastian.

Odette’s letter greeted him by name, Bastian turned on the lamp at his desk to read it.

  It’s a deep night, not long before the end of the year, but from where I write, I can see the glittering lights of the Ferris Wheel. The gift you gave me shinning bright. I am both very happy and very sad about it.

  My dear Bastian, the lie you spoke to me has been found out. I know now of all the sacrifices you have made for me. Ratz House, My mothers crown that I got back through your deal with His Majesty the Emperor and even the divorce that was decided for me. Everything.

   As much as I feel sorry for finally shattering the illusion, I hate you for telling such lies, but I can’t bare to resent it because I was the one who silenced you. So I ended up hating myself. This foolish feeling consumes me, I long to let it go.  Because that wouldn’t be fair to you, who gave everything for me.

You once said you wanted me to soar like a bird, to find happiness in my new life. I promise to live up to that expectation, never letting dark thoughts taint the beautiful world you’ve given me.

So I want you to come back to me, Bastian.

 I want you to be my sky, just as I want to be your ocean. I sincerely wish and hope for you to be my beautiful world where I can fly freely and find endless happiness.

    My dear Bastian, please forgive me confessing my love to you now, perhaps too late. I love you. I love you more than anyone else in this world. This confession is a sincere act of atonement, one that I am willing to risk everything for.

   I know you love me too, you gave me a deep, deep love that I have never received from any one before, no one has ever loved me like you do, and in return, I don’t think there is anyone in the world I could love as much as you.

   Love alone cannot heal the wounds we have inflicted in the past, but thanks to you, I have learned that at least you give me the strenght to move beyond the hurt. Thank you, Bastian, I feel like I have finally grown and flourished in your love.  

   When you return, let us stand together at the new starting line. Let’s start again from the beginning, without any calculations or goals, just our love for each other. As lovers, friends, family. I want to live like that forever as your Odette. So please be my Bastian forever.

I will share the many feelings I couldn’t fit into the letter in your arms when you return.

When that day comes, we will go to the amusement park together. Actually, Bastian. I really wanted to ride the Ferris wheel. I also wanted to try cotton candy. But I hated not being with you. So, I am always looking at the lights of the Ferris wheel from afar.

So Bastian, please come back to me.

For my cotton candy and ferris wheel. For the happy days we will have together. For this timeless love that will never come again.

  With eternal love,

   Your Odette.

There were a few drops of dried tears at the bottom of the page. As he took in the last of the letters, tracing a thumb between each teardrop, Bastian began to tremble.

   He looked up at the moonlit sea and felt the tears build up. The sound of the ticking clock in the hallway became very distinct.

   What should I do with you?

   The overwhelming joy quickly turned to sadness. There was no way he could reach her, beyond the open window all he saw only the darkness.  His breathing became heavy and his eyes fell to the floor, where a strange piece of paper had caught under the toe of his shoe. It must have slipped out in his hurry to open the letter. He picked it up. It was a photo.

The photo he had been waiting for,  Odette looked like a proper princess, in her elegant gown and glittering her mother’s crown. She was smiling as she looked at the camera and Bastian could tell that it was not a genuine smile. He felt like the photo had been taken after she had been crying. Was it a special gift she prepared for him?

   Bastian stared at the photo for what felt like half the night.  Across her beautiful face, memories of the days he had desperately longed for her flooded his mind. After coming such a long and distant way, his heart finally reached her, yet he stood on a path leading to the battlefield.

In the quiet ticking of the clock, Bastian arose from his bed at dawn. He placed Odette’s photo and a heartfelt letter into an envelope before calmly washing his face. Every hair in place, he was ready just as the first rays of sunlight peeked through the window.

Then he sat in his desk, finally opening the supply box he had neglected earlier. As the pen stopped its journey across the paper, a shrill siren broke through the silence.

With hope still burning in his heart, he stood up, grabbed his cap and slid into his coat.

The morning of deployment had arrived.

The only way back to his beloved Odette was through: a victory.

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