Bastian
Chapter 189 - A Moment of Light

✧A Moment of Light✧

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

The sounds of the pen nib scratching across the surface of the rough paper stopped. Odette revised what she had written already with thoughtful eyes.

   The summer night past its peak and the air was filled with noisy grasshoppers. While listening to their chirrups, barely able to focus on the words on the paper, the pen nib overflowed with ink and a droplet fell onto the page, above a sentence conveying news of their child.

   Startled from distracting thoughts, she tried to wipe away the ink blot, but only spread the ink over the paper. The more she tried to wipe it clean, the worse she made it. Even using the blotting paper did nothing to help. The letter was ruined.

   With a deep sigh, Odette stood up from the writing table and went to the bathroom to clean off the ink stains on her fingers, and to calm her troubled mind. She went downstairs, where Margrethe roused from a shallow slumber at the sound of her mistress descending the stairs. The dog plodded over and licked Odette’s hands.

   “Thank you, Meg,” Odette said softly, Margrethe grumbled a bark in reply.

   Odette sat in a deep chair and shared stories with the dog. The recent end to the sticky heatwave and the welcome arrival of cooler weather. The current state of affairs with Bastian and more miracles.

   “I might be a mother again,” she said, her voice fading at the thought. The symptoms were unmistakeable. They were just like before.

   Odette got up after an hour of her one way conversation with Margrethe and made herself a cup of tea. As she carried a tray of tea and treats to the back garden, a cool breeze blew through the garden.

   Would it be better to not tell Bastian? The thought of the ruined letter made her heart waiver. Bastian had all but shown his hope that such an unfortunate event would not occur again, but the last time was entirely her fault for not being responsible. It was unfair to burden his heart at this moment. A possibility she never dared imagine.

  Odette looked down at her belly. The day the diagnosis came, she abandoned all hope of ever having another child. She had given up on the belief that such a miracle could happen in her life. The hurt and pain had overcome her confidence to overcome it all. But what if a miracle happened in just one night?

 She felt a mix of disbelief and joy, yet worried at the same time. Now, running away and raising the child on her own did not seem the right course of action.

   Odette looked around the dark garden, as if the answer lay in the shadows some where, waiting for her to discover it. Everything around her reminded her of him, from the water pump he had repaired, to the sturdy-fixed chair she sat on.

The house glowed in the alabaster light of the moon. Every corner seemed to whisper Bastian’s name, the memories of the brief time they had spent together permeated everything around her. It had been less than a week, but seemed to be as vivid as if it had been her whole life. Perhaps that’s why she chose not to leave the village yet. 

She was lonely.

   She had been so since the day Bastian left her. Going back to her daily life only made her everyday seem incredibly empty. She felt like she had been lonely her whole life, but had not realised it until he was gone. It was like not knowing what darkness was, until the light came and then left again.

   Odette steadied her heart, cherishing the hope found in despair. If she was indeed pregnant, she intended to quietly give birth and raise the child on her own. She wasn’t going to use the child as an excuse to bring Bastian back. She would tell the child of their father one day. Despite the sadness in their relationship, they had said goodbye on good terms, with both forgiving the other. 

   Odette looked down at Margrethe. “That would be okay, right?” The dog looked at her, head cocked. With a faint smile, Odette stood up and went to rewrite the letter.

   As she stood up, nausea came over her again. She clutched the edge of the table and felt a wetness between her legs. 

No way. 

She didn’t dare look down, there was no way it could happen again. Odette desperately denied reality, but the more she did, the heavier her heart got.

   Tears already flooding her eyes, she looked down at the chair, at the white cushion which bore a red stain upon it, same stain was on the hem of her nightgown.

It was a blood trail that signaled the beginning of monthly period.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

Admiral Demel bore a large smile as he poured out another whiskey for Bastian. The breeze blowing in from the sea was quite chilly. It was the kind of chill that made one long for the warmth of summer.

   “The celebration is almost over, quick, drink up,” Admiral Demel said.

   “I’ll keep that in mind,” Bastian said, taking a sip of the whiskey.

   The moral of the troops was reached a peak when Bastian came to the supreme commander with the code book. As a reward, he afforded Bastian and his troops a day of leave, just when the cargo ship carrying letters from home arrived.

   All Bastian wanted to do was rest before the return to a long war. Although reluctant, he accepted the celebratory drinks with the Admiral, knowing he would regret it in the morning.

   “I bet Sher is gritting his teeth at such a humiliating defeat. It’s like pouring fuel into a fire. I bet he had all kinds of desire to get his revenge against you.”

   “I am ready for it.”

   “Yes, of course you are, you’ll manage well I suspect. Look, Major, you need to make it out of this alive, you know that, right?”

   “Don’t worry about me,” Bastian said firmly.

   “Seriously?”

   “Absolutely.”

   “Then why do you fight like you wish for death?”

   “It’s not like that.”

   “You’ve been my underling since you were an officer cadet, its been more than ten years, I know you Bastian. Something’s changed in you.”

   “I apologise.”

   “Give over, Bastian, you know I don’t want to hear some bullshit apology.”

   Bastian knew that, of course, but he was not about to admit to the admiral that he had no intention of returning from this war alive. Even though Demel suspected that Bastian had a death wish, Bastian was not going to let Demel’s suspicions come to light.

   “If I said that I considered you like a son, it would be a lie. What kind of father would push his son to the very front of the fighting? But still, Major, no, Bastian, I care about you a lot. You are one of my most trusted officers. I would trust you with my life, but I am getting old and I doubt I will find another officer like you if I lived another hundred years, so please, take care of yourself. You would be showing me the truest form of loyalty if you could respect this one, simple wish.”

Love blossoms anew when death was nigh. People were indeed foolish beings. 

Bastian looked at Demel, who looked right back at him in silence. Bastian remained flat, distant, unreadable, but at least he looked human. Admiral Demel nodded, though not entirely satisfied.

   “One failed marriage does not mean the end of your life. Look at Admiral Ryan, he’s been through two wives and still made it to commander-in-chief,” Demel said jokingly. “So don’t you worry unnecessarily. You still have many prospects ahead of you, still more chances to take. It would probably be better if you avoided such tragedy in the future though.” Demel refilled his own glass.

   “Lets have one more toast, before you face the wrath of Sher.” Demel raised his glass to Bastian. “To the safe return of Rayvael,” Demel shouted.

   Cheers rang out from inside the officers mess. Bastian drained his glass and gave Demel la faint smile.

   “Thank you,” Bastian said, bowing his head. “I wont forget your kindness.”

“You sound like a man who’s about to meet his maker. Off with you, then!” Admiral Demel chuckled and flicked his hand in dismissal. 

Bastian bowed one final time before departing from Admiral Demel’s room, quietly shutting the door behind him. As he moved farther away, his footsteps faded away into the hallway beyond, slowly replaced by the gentle summer breeze.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

After loading the last trunk into the back of the car, Odette was ready to leave. She settled Margrethe and the puppies in the back seat and paused to look at the old cottage one more time.

   It didn’t take long for Countess Trier to send a car once Odette decided to leave. It was a lot quicker than she expected, but she didn’t harbour any regrets. She had ordered her feelings on the night woke from her delusions.

   “Teacher,” a child’s excited voice called out.

   Odette turned and climbed into the car, where Alma was playing with the puppies in the back. She wore the brightest smile Odette had ever seen.

   Count Xanders came over once he had finished talking to the driver of the second car, which carried the vast majority of Odette’s possessions. Once in the drivers seat, the two cars left the quiet little cottage. They followed the creek until they were outside the village. Odette kept her hat on,  hidden under the brim and veil, her eyes were as red and moist as they had been that night.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

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