Apocalyptic Era: Starting from picking up a Bishoujo
Chapter 248 - 232 Mazao’s Fantasy

Chapter 248: 232 Mazao’s Fantasy

I finally told Mazao my true feelings.

Using that as a starting point, I confessed all the deceptions I’d spun since meeting her, as well as all my entanglements and emotional journeys. I even revealed the disgraceful secret that I planned to use the second Little Bowl as a last-resort threat.

Of course, that included many other things that I didn’t necessarily have to say. But having revealed my biggest secret, holding anything back now seemed insincere. If I was to expose myself, I had to lay out everything, spill my guts. In the end, my candor with Mazao wasn’t just because my web of lies would eventually unravel, but also because I couldn’t stand how I’d lied to her thus far. Now, this was a reckoning with my past self.

After saying everything, I was supposed to await Mazao’s judgment. Would she disdain me, or would she forgive me? I couldn’t preemptively know the answer; the anxiety of the unknown gripped my heart like a demonic claw. Yet, I felt a lightness throughout my body, as if a heavy burden had finally lifted from my shoulders.

There was no turning back now. Whatever Mazao’s response, I would face it head-on. My mind teemed with countless possibilities, and I believed I could withstand any outcome.

However, it turned out that I might have been overly presumptuous.

After hearing my story, Mazao looked down and fell silent for a long while. I awaited her response, eager to break the unbearable silence—even a scolding would be welcome. But her reaction was beyond anything I had imagined.

"Zhuang Cheng, you’re trying to comfort me, aren’t you?" she said in a muted tone.

"...What?" I was stunned.

Comforting... Which part of what I had just said was meant to be comforting? Instinctively, I reviewed everything I had just spoken. Then a flash of insight struck; I realized that a crucial misunderstanding might have occurred.

"When you were talking to Fu Feng before, he mentioned that your life was originally free from the supernatural. After hearing that, I figured that if you hadn’t encountered me, you wouldn’t have ended up an enemy to Impermanence. Even as the world worsens, you might still have continued a peaceful life..." She spoke despondently, "To be honest, I felt heartbroken... I thought I had hidden it well. You must have seen through my thoughts, so you came to comfort me."

"Wait, it’s not like that. I really long for adventure... It’s the desire to encounter the supernatural that made me want to be with you," I hurriedly clarified.

"But, how could that possibly be?" she asked, "Who would abandon a peaceful life to seek danger and the paranormal?"

Indeed, this was irrefutable. Although it’s odd for me to say, I was quite aware of how rare people like me are. The world is full of fools who unwittingly court death, but those who knowingly seek danger and treat it as a ’hobby’ are few and far between. The persuasiveness of this mad persona probably falls short of the "righteous and kind-hearted person" image I had previously crafted for Mazao.

Especially since Mazao had lived in the Doomsday Era, where the basic rule of survival was to avoid danger and the paranormal. People like me probably wouldn’t have survived a day there. Not to mention seeing such a person, she probably hadn’t even heard of one. The persuasiveness drops another level.

I was so full of myself, focused only on my own thoughts. I thought that by simply telling the truth, Mazao would believe me. A little reflection would make it clear; in this world, conviction is just as necessary to make someone believe your truth as your lies.

The real challenge laid in this aspect. Perhaps this was the consequence of my myriad lies. The boy who cried wolf in fairy tales eventually wasn’t believed when he told the truth.

Luckily, inspiration struck, and I thought of a way to convince Mazao.

"Perhaps it is hard to believe that such people exist, but I truly haven’t lied. If you’re unsure, you can let Zhu Shi help verify. You know she has the ability to see through lies. I can teleport to her now, and you can come too. Then everything will become clear," I said.

"I see... Did you also beforehand talk to Zhu Shi? Have you asked her to collaborate with you..." she said, her voice complicated.

"No, it’s not like that..." I replied.

"But if it’s not the case, wouldn’t that be contradictory?" she asked.

"Contradictory?" I didn’t understand.

"In my world, only misfortune is destined to happen around me; I have the Broom Star Physique that only attracts disasters and danger," she said, "I once heard a saying, ’Every being has its purpose.’ So, I’ve pondered that even if I only attract troubles, maybe someone might need me...

"But even if there exists someone who needs me, what they need couldn’t possibly be my aspect as the Broom Star. It’s my ability to fight Sin Demons, repair things, and investigate that are truly valuable.

"Yet you tell me, although I am someone who attracts trouble inexplicably, there happens to be a person in another era, another place, who just loves encountering one disaster after another. And I was incredibly fortunate to have traveled through time and space to his era, and even more miraculously, I met him... How could such an incredibly good thing happen to just happen to me?

"Zhuang Cheng, I’m glad that you don’t care that I attract danger and misfortunes, and are willing to fight alongside me. To me, this is already a blessing I could only dream of, so..."

Near the end, she hugged her knees and curled up on the bed, her voice trembling, and her face began showing unease and fear.

Only then did I realize that the key issue might not be the lack of persuasiveness in my heartfelt words.

Even if the words I just spoke were persuasive, Mazao still might not choose to believe me. Because she’s afraid, she’s afraid that someone can accept everything about her.

In the wandering life of the Doomsday Era, she must have lost a lot and suffered greatly. So, now, she’s no longer afraid of loss or harm. Instead, what can truly hurt her, is not the calamities that come one after another, but rather, it’s luck.

Calamity isn’t scary to her because she knows how to face it. Only under the cold soak of calamity can she find peace. There, she doesn’t need to worry about losing anything, because she’s already got nothing. However, happiness burns her. On her, peace and happiness seem to be at odds.

For her, so-called peace is the state without fear.

But happiness is frightening.

...

In any case, it seems that my action to express my sincerity has unexpectedly ended in failure.

The unexpected part is not the failure itself, but the form of failure. I had even considered the possibility that I would not dare to speak my sincere words at the end, but I never thought about the possibility that Mazao wouldn’t dare to believe.

I sat down opposite Mazao.

"Mazao, what would it take for you to believe me?" I said.

"I will not believe it; your words are too fanciful, they are just impossible things," Mazao stated unswervingly.

"What if it’s just a hypothetical?" I asked.

"Hypothetical?" she inquired.

"Suppose you really met such a person," I said.

"Such a hypothesis is invalid," she said without hesitation.

"Didn’t you say before that having someone to fight alongside you is something that could only happen in dreams? Since we’re going to dream anyway, let’s intensify the depth of the dream. Dreams don’t need logic, anything fanciful can happen," I said, "In this world, there’s even a divine seal that can fulfill all wishes, you surely wouldn’t think that your Broom Star Physique could overpower the power of the divine seal."

I paused for a moment, then slowly continued, "If the divine seal suddenly made all of what I said come true... what would you think?"

"The divine seal..."

At first, she looked at me suspiciously, but under my gentle persuasion, she gradually lowered her head, seemingly imagining the scenario I described.

"If there really is such a person..." her expression became entranced, "If someone really could accept all of me like that, then, even if I had to give up everything, I would..."

Then, as if suddenly awakening from her imagination, she became very calm and continued, "...But, how could there possibly be such a person? Even I have never dared to indulge in such convenient fantasies."

Sorry about that, but I’m just that convenient of a person.

And you were clearly thinking about it just now.

I gradually calmed my mind and began to consider how to make Mazao believe me. To tell the truth, I am clueless. It’s very simple to question something; with a doubtful mind, there’s nothing in this world that can’t be questioned. But thoroughly proving something is extremely difficult.

It’s not enough for my words to merely sound true; I have to create a situation that Mazao can’t deny no matter what she does, a situation where she is utterly unable to refute and can only believe that I am that person—the one willing to accept all of her calamities and misfortunes, the one who can make her so happy that it frightens her.

I want to realize the fantasy that she didn’t even dare to dream of.