Apocalyptic Era: Starting from picking up a Bishoujo
Chapter 240 - 226 The Love-Deprived Zhu Shi

Chapter 240: 226 The Love-Deprived Zhu Shi

Hearing my response, Zhu Shi showed an expression that was both incredibly surprised and not unexpected.

Just listening to the description, it might seem hard to imagine such a change in expression. I think Zhu Shi has a clear and objective understanding of her own appearance and how easily she can charm others. Simply put, she is not one of those naive girls who are oblivious to their own allure. Before hearing my reply, she must have also made corresponding mental preparations.

On the other hand, she may have wanted to show that she hadn’t anticipated this kind of response. This sort of acting could be unconscious, it should have been more natural. Perhaps she also hopes to interact with sincerity; the reflexive acting not completely masking her true feelings.

She seemed to struggle internally for two seconds, then said, "You actually admitted it directly!"

"You said it before, didn’t you? That all I need to do is speak my honest thoughts, that lies and acting don’t suit me. So I just spoke the truth," I said.

She laughed and retorted: "So you’re straightforward about your feelings for me, but not honest about your feelings for Mazao?"

"I don’t know what you’re talking about," I said candidly.

I had never mentioned to Zhu Shi my romantic interest in Mazao; after all, she is more commonsensical in this regard than I am. The idea of a nearly twenty-year-old man having romantic feelings for a thirteen-year-old girl is something that even I find somewhat perverted. Although Zhu Shi most likely has more or less realized what I truly think, if I were to confess, she would surely nag me about it incessantly.

"However, with you saying this, I also feel relieved," said Zhu Shi.

"Relieved?" I asked.

"That you actually don’t have those feelings for me," she said relaxedly, "I was wondering what to do in case you really liked me and wanted to discuss marriage."

I deliberately said, "Now I’m a bit hurt by your words; is the idea of discussing marriage with me so unacceptable to you?"

"It’s not like that," she responded, "If you ask me whether I want to marry Senior Brother Zhuang, naturally, I’d be more than willing as I have to marry someday. Senior Brother Zhuang, there are many things about you that I can’t overlook, and it would be convenient for me to take care of you up close in the future."

What does she mean by "take care of me"... how exactly am I perceived?

"But you see," she continued, "marrying me wouldn’t be fair to you, Senior Brother Zhuang."

"Unfair—why?" I quickly thought of several possibilities.

"First of all, from other people’s perspective, you’re destined to become Impermanence, while I’m merely a fallen descendant of a demon hunter family. Even if my ancestors were Impermanence, that glory belongs to the past. You have far more suitable choices than me; choosing me would mean you miss out on a lot." she explained.

"That’s the least sensible reason. If I become Impermanence, possessing power above mundane common sense, and still hesitate in my choice of a life partner because of their family background—how utterly mundane, and how could I deserve the title ’Impermanence’?" was my unhesitating response.

Upon hearing this, she smiled and countered: "Senior Brother Zhuang, you’re not seriously considering marrying me now, are you?"

"It’s just an analysis of a possibility," I said, "So, what other reasons are there?"

She nodded: "The most important reason is that I can’t develop romantic feelings for you, Senior Brother Zhuang."

"You can’t develop romantic feelings for me, but you’d be extremely willing to marry me?" Her words seemed contradictory to me.

However, her lack of romantic feelings for me made perfect sense. She harbors pure kindness and a strong sense of morality, which are polar opposites to someone like me who boasts being an Evil without taboos. Though in some fictional stories, the trope of ’the heroine falling for the villain’ isn’t unheard of, putting aside that reality is not fiction, there has never been an event between us significant enough to foster such feelings.

Instead, it’s surprising and gratifying enough that she still wants to confide in me and has likely figured out my unsavory character.

She shook her head, then added: "My expression wasn’t clear. It’s not just you; I can’t develop romantic feelings for anyone."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, puzzled.

"Exactly what it sounds like; I, as a person, do not have the capability to develop romantic feelings for the opposite sex. It’s not a personality issue, but rather a problem at the hardware level," she explained.

"I still don’t quite understand. No love... even if that’s true, how did you arrive at this conclusion?"

Having experienced many unbelievable events, I was ready to process Zhu Shi’s sudden proclamation.

Let’s assume for the moment that Zhu Shi truly lacks the capability for romantic feelings. Unlike simple, clear-cut emotions like fear and anger, love is elusive.

It’s easy for someone who is innately fearless or incapable of anger to diagnose themselves, but how can someone who’s innately unable to experience love conclusively determine this, instead of holding onto the possibility that they "just haven’t met someone who moves them"?

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