Apocalypse Days: I Rule with Foresight and a Powerful Son -
Chapter 57: A Mother’s Woe in the Cold World
Chapter 57: 57: A Mother’s Woe in the Cold World
Zara’s breath came in ragged, desperate gasps, her chest heaving violently against the cold, harsh air. She was still crouched in the snow, her knees numb from the icy ground beneath her, but she couldn’t bring herself to move. She couldn’t do anything except grip her throbbing head, as though trying to hold it together, trying to keep her mind from shattering into pieces.
I shouldn’t have left him. The thought loops in her mind, relentless and punishing. I yelled at him. He needed me, and I left him.
The world around her was collapsing, blurring into muted colours and muffled sounds. Her vision swam, the shapes of the empty highway and surrounding woods twisting. The nausea recedes slightly, but the crushing weight of guilt crashes over her, harder and heavier than before.
"I want to go home! I want my daddy!"
"You think I don’t want that too?" she had snapped. "You think I don’t miss them every damn day?"
Images of Leo’s tear-streaked face flashed before her eyes. His small frame curled in the corner of the car, clutching his blanket as he flinched under the sharpness of her words.
A low, guttural sob clawed its way out of her throat, raw and unrestrained, as the realisation of her failure crashed down on her.
"This is my fault," she mutters aloud, her voice breaking. "I scared him. I left him here. I—" Her words dissolve into another strangled sob as her gaze falls on the discarded blanket near the car. She snatches it up, clutching it tightly to her chest. The fabric is damp and cold, but it still smells faintly of him, of the faint soap they’d used the last time they found running water.
Had he been scared?
The icy air burned her throat, each inhale a reminder of the cold that was steadily seeping into her bones.
Zara buries her face in the blanket, her tears soaking into the fabric as she rocks back and forth in the snow. "I’m sorry," she whispers hoarsely. "I’m so sorry, Leo."
The migraine started up again, a fresh wave of stabbing pain that sent her curling into herself. She gagged, bile rising in her throat, but nothing came out. Her breaths came in shallow gasps, her chest burning with the effort.
Her thoughts spiralled further, dragging her into memories she’d tried to bury. She saw Damon’s face—her husband, smiling at her in the glow of a sunset long before the world fell apart. She heard his laughter and felt the warmth of his arms around her, but the image shifted abruptly to his lifeless body.
Mia and Kit’s laughter fading into silence; the faces of her family, whom she hadn’t heard from since the start of the apocalypse.
Now Leo too. It’s happening all over again. I’m doomed to repeat this. I’m cursed to lose everyone I care about.
Through the haze of pain and despair, she saw Leo’s face again—not the tear-streaked face from earlier, but the way he used to smile, the light in his eyes that somehow refused to dim, even in the face of all they had endured. His unwavering trust in her, even when she didn’t feel worthy of it.
"He was just scared," she whispered hoarsely. "He just wanted them back. I could’ve handled it better. Why didn’t I handle it better?"
Her body shook with sobs, each one more forceful than the last, as months of pent-up grief, fear, and rage poured out of her. Nine months of fighting, scraping, surviving—and for what? To end up here, alone in the snow, having failed the one person who trusted her the most?
Her words dissolved into another wave of tears. The migraine flared again, sending her crumpling onto her side. For a moment, she thought she might pass out, the edges of her vision darkening.
Her sobs grow quieter, her voice hoarse and raw from crying. She stares blankly at the blanket, her tears freezing on her cheeks in the bitter cold.
But then a thought pierced through the haze, fragile yet persistent: Leo is out there.
Using the car for support, she forced herself upright, gripping the blanket tightly. Her legs wobbled beneath her, her knees threatening to buckle, but she held on. He’s alive. He has to be.
"Leo!" she croaked, her voice raw. She staggered to the car, throwing open the door again and rummaging through the supplies with desperate hands.
"Leo baby, where are you?" Her fingers skimmed the seats, the floorboards, and the glove compartment. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew he couldn’t fit the glove compartment. The car was empty.
"Leo, please!" she called again, louder this time, her voice cracking.
The car was empty. The only signs of him were the discarded blanket and the faint imprint of his small body in the back seat. Zara’s chest tightened as she stumbled out, scanning the ground. The zombie footprints surrounded the car, a chaotic pattern that made her stomach churn.
She dropped to her knees, brushing snow aside with trembling hands, searching for any clue—blood, a piece of fabric, anything. But there was nothing. No sign of a struggle, no sign of Leo running.
The thought gave her just enough strength to push forward. She stumbled away from the car, her boots crunching through the snow as she followed the footprints. The migraine made her movements clumsy, her head spinning with every step, but she didn’t stop.
"Leo!" she shouted again, her voice echoing across the barren highway.
The distant sound of shuffling and groaning reached her ears, freezing her in place. Her breath hitched, her heart pounding in her chest.
The zombies were close. Why? Had they circled around? Was it another group of zombies?
Panic threatened to consume her, but she forced herself to her feet again, staggering forward as she scanned the area. Her vision swam, and the pain in her head was unbearable, but she couldn’t stop.
Zara slumped against a nearby car, her body spent, her mind blank. Her breath came in shallow gasps as she stared up at the grey, unforgiving sky.
"Leo..." she whispered, her voice barely audible. "I’m sorry. Please, please come back."
The next sound came again, louder this time. The faintest whisper of a call. But this time, she knew. She wasn’t imagining it. She wasn’t alone.
Her chest tightened with both dread and relief.
Leo?
Zara’s hands trembled as she clutched the discarded blanket, her vision blurred by tears.
Her breath hitched. She froze, every nerve in her body straining to listen. "Leo?" she whispered, her voice breaking.
Then she heard it again—a small, frightened whimper from inside the car she had just searched. Her mind reeled. How could he be there? She had torn through every inch of that car.
Zara scrambled to her feet, nearly slipping on the icy ground as she rushed back to the vehicle. She yanked open the door and gasped. There, curled up on the floor between the front and back seats, was Leo.
His little face was pale and streaked with tears, his tiny body trembling as he tried to crawl out. The moment his wide, terrified eyes met hers, he nearly toppled forward in his haste to get to her.
"Mummy!" he cried, his voice cracking with relief and fear. "Mummy!"
Zara reached out just in time, catching him as he flung himself into her arms. She sank to her knees in the snow, clutching him tightly to her chest as sobs wracked her body. "Leo! Oh my baby, my baby," she choked out, her words tumbling over each other.
She pressed frantic kisses to his tear-streaked cheeks, his forehead, his hair. "I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry! I’ll never leave you again, I promise."
Leo buried his face in her neck, his small hands clutching her jacket desperately. His words came out in a broken babble, each one piercing her heart. "I’m sorry, Mummy! I’m sorry! I love you, Mummy. I didn’t mean it! I’ll be good, I won’t be bad anymore! Please don’t leave me!"
"Oh, baby," Zara sobbed, rocking him gently as she held him close. "No, no, sweetheart, it’s not your fault. You’re not bad. You’re my good boy. I’m the one who’s sorry. I’ll never leave you, never. I promise."
She pulled back just enough to look at him, her hands framing his face. His cheeks were ice-cold, his lips tinged with blue.
He was shivering so hard she could feel it in his entire body. Fear surged through her again as the distant sound of groaning reached her ears. The zombies were coming back.
Zara scrambled to her feet, lifting Leo with her. She climbed into the car and slammed the door shut, locking it as she pressed Leo close to her chest.
"Leo, baby, you’re freezing," she murmured, wrapping the blanket around him as best she could. "Where were you? I’ve been looking everywhere for you."
Leo sniffled, his small face scrunching up as he tried to explain. "I was scared," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I couldn’t see you, and... and something was there. So I hid."
He hesitated, glancing up at her with wide, tearful eyes. "I went to my happy place. I stayed there until I heard you mommy."
"Your happy place?"
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