Anthesis of Sadness
Chapter 38: Anthony Paine

Chapter 38: Anthony Paine

Little by little, my thoughts overwhelmed me.

How was Cassandre? I missed her so much... I hoped she was okay, that she was moving forward—even without me.

Behind her innocence hid a strong woman. I knew it. She would get through this. But this world was ruthless, and I wanted her to become strong enough to face it.

I wanted so badly for her to be here, with me...

Then, like a whisper from another time, her voice echoed in my ear:

"You always think too much, Anthony."

It wasn’t an illusion. Just a memory.

—It’s true... I murmured to myself.

I needed to stop drifting and set myself concrete goals.

I especially couldn’t let my ego swell after that battle against the Swarm. I was their natural enemy, able to regenerate from their countless non-lethal wounds while constantly boosting my stats through their blood.

I had to become much stronger over the next year.

So, I made the decision to set a few goals:

Reach level 100. It was very likely that a class upgrade awaited me there, just as it had at level 50.

Gain influence, in case the mini-world wasn’t accessible to everyone. For that, I absolutely had to rise in guild rank or find another way to gain influence.

Train Lysara intensively—more than myself. She needed to become competent, ready to face what was coming. I promised myself I’d talk to her about it tomorrow and give her the choice.

And above all... buy that damn magic bag! I desperately needed it. The number one tool of every adventurer!

At dawn, the little girl woke up, her eyes squinting under the brutal glare of a sun already too hot for the hour. She looked lost, as if the world around her was too vast, too crushing.

It was the first time I’d seen her... fragile. Not physically, no. It was her gaze. It wandered. As if she were searching for a safe place, a landmark—and couldn’t find it.

She slowly turned her head toward me, where I sat on a stone, nearly motionless, watching her every little move.

I gave her a look full of tenderness, a discreet but sincere smile.

—Good morning... did you sleep well? I asked, my voice gentle, but tinged with a subtle concern.

She nodded with a small motion of her head, her eyes still empty, as if a part of her remained locked away in a secret, unreachable place. I could feel her pain, but she had neither the words nor the strength to share it.

I dug into one of my bags, pulling out slices of dried meat and a water flask. I handed them to her.

—Eat... drink, I said, my voice warm, but with a certain urgency.

She took them without a word, with that mix of distrust and animal reflex that was painful to witness. As if, deep down, she wasn’t expecting food... but a slap, or an order.

I knew I had to talk to her. About everything.

Once she finished eating the meat and took a few sips of water, she handed the flask back to me, her gaze still distant. I took it gently, my eyes resting on her.

I looked at her for a long time, my benevolence clear, but also a certain gravity in my expression.

—I need to talk to you, to tell you a lot of things...

I paused, searching for the right words, before continuing.

I felt my throat tighten. The words were there, stuck, hesitant. Why was it so hard? I had faced her, trained her, protected her... but I had never let my guard down in front of her.

—First of all... I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, but... my real name is Anthony. Anthony Paine.

She blinked.

Once. Slowly.

As if those words had opened a door she never thought would be crossed.

No smile. No reply. But something had changed.

I stared at her for a moment, my smile soft, almost reassuring, but also filled with deep sincerity.

—Nice to meet you, Lysara, I said, letting my smile grow a bit more clearly, like a gesture of friendship, of trust.

Her name floated in the air like an offering. I had given it to her. And today, it was my turn to lay something before her. A bare truth. My name. My past. My burden.

So, I confessed everything to her.

I told her I wasn’t from this world, that my very existence seemed to defy the gods. That I needed to become powerful—not out of ambition, but out of necessity. That somewhere, my beloved was waiting for me, and I couldn’t afford to fail.

I told her about the mini-worlds, their mysteries, what I knew, and what I still feared I didn’t.

I took my time. Every detail mattered, every truth deserved to be said. I didn’t want to hide anything from her. She had to understand—everything. Absolutely everything.

Once I finished my story, I looked at her.

—I’m telling you all this because, personally, I want you to stay by my side. Not out of obligation, but because... I feel for you. You remind me of who I used to be, before Cassandre. And well... I’ve come to enjoy your company, even if you’re not exactly... sociable, I said with a faint smile, trying to tease her.

But, as usual, she didn’t react. Her gaze remained frozen, unreadable.

I continued, more seriously:

—And to be completely honest with you, if I took you with me at the start... it was mainly because your ability is valuable to me. But you’re smart, you’ve probably figured that out already.

Still no words from her.

I sighed lightly before getting to the point.

—Anyway... I told you all this so you’d have a choice. When we return to town after this quest, I can drop you off there.

A barely perceptible flicker passed through her eyes. A flicker, a hesitation. Was it the idea of having to choose? Or... the fear of being abandoned?

I pretended not to notice and went on:

—It’s up to you to decide the life you want to live. If you stay with me, know that it won’t be easy. This path will be filled with hardship. But I’ll train you seriously. You’ll become my student, and I, your master.

I paused for a moment before adding:

—Or... you can choose to live your own life, to fend for yourself. If that’s what you want, then I’ll give you the reward for this quest once we’re in town, along with the hammer and everything else.

I looked her straight in the eyes, searching for a reaction, a glimmer of decision.

—Now, it’s your choice.

She lowered her eyes. Just for an instant. But I saw it. That micro-movement. That faint shift. It was a silent "I don’t know." A "I want to stay, but I don’t know how to say it."

I softened my tone a little.

—You don’t have to answer right away. But before we arrive in town... you’ll need to have made your decision, okay?

After a short silence, she nodded gently.

Standing up, I stroked her head tenderly, a gesture full of affection.

I adjusted the bag I had clumsily filled with Zar’Kha carapace pieces on my back, then declared with a smile:

—Come on, let’s go. We’ve got a quest to complete!

I didn’t know if I’d done the right thing. Maybe I was shaping her in my image. Or maybe... she was the one bringing me back to something alive.

On that road, we came across more monsters than usual. Maybe this region held more of them. I let Lysara handle the two Gorvaks we encountered.

Our bags were perfectly suited to this hostile land: on each side, two slots allowed the tusks of these creatures to be slid in. Once the fights were over, I filled mine with the four tusks I had carefully harvested.

The day passed like that, with nothing special to report.

Seeing that she didn’t seem tired, I decided to continue our journey through the night.

Hours passed, and we drew closer to where the creature was supposed to be lurking.

On the way, we’d emptied a flask and a half, each holding about two liters. I had taken advantage of a break to fill the empty one... with blood.

My plan was solid: defeat the creature with minimal effort.

But I wanted to involve Lysara in the fight so she could gain experience and level up.

By now, I had a clear idea of her abilities.

She could transform a small part of her body at a time into an extremely resistant material. I didn’t know exactly what it was, but its toughness was equivalent to steel.

Her most impressive ability, however, was the power to make her body tangible at will, allowing her to shape it as she pleased.

I suspected she was already close to level 40. Something in her demeanor, in the way she fought, showed me her rapid progress. I suspected that after the fight against the Vor’Ghul, she would unlock a third ability. It wasn’t surprising, given her potential and how she handled battle.

Still, that fighting spirit—nearly level 40 at only 10 years old... What kind of life had she lived to get here? A dull ache filled me at the thought of everything she must’ve endured so young. I felt sorry for her.

But this wasn’t Earth. I couldn’t judge by my moral standards. Here, strength ruled, and I had to make her stronger. There was no room for softness or pity, only for survival and ascension.

On the way, I saw a crossroads, where several roads met. A strategic place, where traffic was likely denser than elsewhere. An ideal spot for the beast, which could find many prey there. A shiver ran through me at the thought of what that meant.

It was the place marked on the quest sheet—the exact location we had to reach. Everything matched.

And there, at the crossroads...

I saw it.

The foretold nightmare. Lurking in the shadows.

The Vor’Ghul was waiting for us.